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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 2

Lambton Kay, Wellin'ton, September 29th, 1879

Lambton Kay, Wellin'ton,

Be the piper that played before Moses, ther's been the divil's own inthraigin' goin' on here durin' the last fortnight. The mimbers o' the Opposition have resoortid to ivery mane divice in ordher to put us out, so they have. 'Pon me conshinse, it was a purty sight to see Rolleston an' the other boys opposed to us waitin' on the wharf for the Southern steamers to arrive, so that they'd have the first chance o' button-holin' the mimbers as they arrived. It was as good as a play to see thim shipardin' me second cousin, page 61 Paddy M'Caughan, whin he landed from the South. The way in which Johnny Hall laid on the soft soap was most surprising but I don't think they've got him yit. Av he turns thraiter, be the vartue o' me oath, I'll disown all relashionship to him, so I will. Thin they thried it on wid Finn an' Barron and some more av our boys, but it wouldn't wash. Av coorse they lift no stone unturned in thryin' to buy me over, for sure they know that no Ministhry can stand widout me assistance, for they know I can talk a lot of the unsophistickated mimbers into votin' just as I plaise. Faix, some o' the boys o' the Opposishun are as cunnin' as foxes, so they are. I'll just give ye a little iday o' the way they thried to bribe me, One evenin' last week I happened to be doin' me morn in' at Jack M' Ginnity's, whin who should pop in unawares but George M' Lean, "Paddy," ses he, "yer the very man I've been lookin' for; come outside here, I want to spaike to ye, just the laste taste, in private," ses he. I wint outside wid him, and before you could say Jack Robinson, he put his arm into mine, an' we walked along together, lookin' for all the world like the Siamese twins. "Where the dickens are ye takin' me to, George, asthore?" ses I. "Well, Paddy, avick, we're jist goin' to have a quiet cup o' tay up at Walther Johnson's, and we want ye to join us," says he. Faix I didn't like to refuse sich a kind invitation, and in a few minutes time we found ourselves in Watty's back parlour. There was a grate crowd intirely of the Opposishun boys, an' amongst them I noticed yer three Dunaidin mimbers. Afther tay we retired to the study to hould a cowcass, an' Johnny Hall comminced the discoorse be addhressin 'me:" Now Misther Murphy," ses he, "we've brought ye here to see av we can't tirapt ye to jine us." "Misther Hall," ses I, "ye may save yerselves the throuble; common praties an' small pittaties may be chaip an' plintiful, but a ginuine Murphy is not to be bought in your market," ses I lookin' mighty indignant. Findin' me objurate, they turned the conversahun, an' rang the bell for the decanthers and glasses. I could see that they were determined to thransact none o' the private busiuess in my prisince, thinkin' I might let the cat out o' the bag. Afther a few rounds o' punch, George M'Lean called on me for a song, and finding mesilf speritually inspired, I sthruck up the followin' ditty, composed at a minute's notice:—