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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 2

Special Telegram

page 50

Special Telegram.

Lambton Kay, Wellin'ton,

Arrah, be the powers o' Moll Kelly, I've niver been so much decaived in the whole coorse o' me life, so I've not. I recayved yer tiligram tellin' me how the citizens o' Dunedin wor so much dissapointed at me not comin' down, an', begorra, I'm sorry for dissopointin' thim, so I am. The fact o' the matther is, jist as I got away from the Kay wid the' Markiss I discovered that me coort shuit was left behind, Molly havin' forgot to put it, along wid me box o' paper collars, in me carpet bag. Well, av coorse I wouldn't dhrame o' thravellin' on a State occasion widout me coort shuit, so I wouldn't; not that I've the laste taste o' pride mysilf, personally, but I like to keep up the dignity o' me office, for, faix, av I don't, none o' me other collaiges will. The Markiss thried to persuaide me to go down widout it, an' promised to lind me his second-hand swallowtail (a garmint, betchune you an' me, that's been five generations in the family o' the Phipps's), but I refused the honour, so I did, for second-hand clothes don't become me. I won't ray-cap-itulate the scene av me partin' wid the Markiss, as it would be only openin' up the flood-gates o' sorrow agin. Just as we wor shakin' hands for the last time I popped the followin' little note into his hand, an' be the hokey, it'll do him more good in Victoria thin Her Majesty's commission, so it will:—

To Sir Brien O' Loghlen, Actin' Prime-ear, &c.

Lambton Kay,

Me Dear Brieny,—

I've grate pleasure in inthroducin' to yer notis His Ixcillincee the Markiss o' Normanbee, as dacint a boy as iver broke bread. 'Pon me conshinse, ye'll obleedge me very much be puttin' him up to a wrinkle or two in connection wid bis jewties. But, Brieny, allanah, the mane thing I want to bring undher yer notis is the fact that the Markiss has a waikness for throwin' about and squandherin' his money foolishly. Now, Brieny, ma bouchil, I want ye to keep yer eye upon him, and thry to resthrain his ixthravagint propinsities. I confide him to yer care, an' I know ye'll take care av him. Pat O' Rell brings ye another few lines from me. Be kind to Pat, an' in- throduce him into dacint society. Ye needn't be afraid av him, he's as mild as a lamb among the ladies.

Yer affectionate Cousin,

Paddy Murphy.