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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 2

Lambton Kay

Lambton Kay.

Lambton Kay, Wellin'ton

Be the powers o' Moll Kelly, bad luck to the thing is stirrin' at all, at all, since me last, barrin'a slight conthra-tongs (Frinch) wid Misther Stout about the gosoons who clane the pewthers (these political measures resaive more attintion thin the other political measures) at Bellamy's, an' be dad me collaige got the best o' the arguments, so he did. I tuk tay wid the Markiss a few nights ago, an' he was axin me advice about pro-rogue-in the House. Av coorse I advised him to sind the mimbers about their business at his airliest possible convaineance, for sure mesilf and me collaiges want some leasure to matchure our idays an' plans for the futchure. Be the vartu o' me oath, I've jist discovered a consperacy to upset us, an' place Docthor page 43 Wallis in the Prim-ear's sait. The iday is simply prepostherous, for sure he's no more fit to be Prime-ear than Misther Satan himself. Now if they talked o' makin' him Ministher o' eddicashun, there would be some sinse in it, an' he's a good grammarian, bekays he's always a Parsin, but Prime-ear is out o' the question, so it is. As I was goin' home a few nights ago from Bellamy's I dhropped across two mimbers who pritind to be grate frinds av ours intirely, an' the following convirsation inshued, which I've sthrung into a nate liar-ic or lamintation. I know their names well, an' be jabers if they give me any av their jaw I'll let the cat out o' the bag on thim, so I will.

Come all ye loyal hayros, an' lind to me an ear,
I'll tell as thrue a story as iver ye did hear:
Concarnin' two bould mimbers, if ye'll attintion pay,
I'll sing av their advintures, boys, one night on Lambton Kay.

Sure, comin' home from Bellamy's, I met the dacint boys,
Says one unto the other, "Faix I'll shortly make a noise.
They promised me a billet if I'd vote the proper way,
But still I'm left out in the could to sthroll on Lambton Kay."

"Be gorra," ses the other, "Faix they promised me the same,
I tuk me oath to follow Mac, an' swear be George's name;
I flung me caubeen in the air, an' shouted loud ' Hooray!'
The day we kicked the Major out, a waif on Lambton Kay."

"Och, be the hokey-poker," the former spaiker sed,
"I'll follow in the tail no more av sich a thankless head;
Our laidhers keep us in the dark, an' in the twilight Grey,
We're juped, humbugged, an' hoodwinked too, I swear on Lambton Kay."

"An' thin agin," the other sed, "The tide begins to fall,
Sir George is not so popular at all, at all, at all,
As whin King Mob bowed down to him acknoweldgin' his sway,
Be jabers mate, it's time we turned our coats on Lambton Kay."

The other spaiker tuk a swig from out a bottle black,
Obsarvin'—"Here is slantha, boy, its time we changed our tack;
Avick machree, sure I agree wid ivery word ye say,
The wind av popularity is changed on Lambton Kay."

The other mimber tuk a pull, an' ses, "Be dad I hear
The Threasurer begins to ale since he got on his beer;
Otago's Prosbitarians wid Stout are taking tay,
They say he'd rob them av their right—it's wrong on Lambton Kay."

"Supposin', mate," the other sed, "we lift thim in the lurch,
Who would we get to take the lade?" "We'd rest upon the church,
There's Docthor Wallis—though a clark, I got him on a lay,
He tould me, saycritly, he'd like to rule on Lambton Kay."

The varmints tuk another swig, and shook aitch other's fist,
'Twas rainin' at the time, an' soon the gintlemin wor mist;
I know thim well, the blackguards vile, who would their frinds bethray;
Me eye's upon the thraithors since that night on Lambton Kay.

Paddy Murphy.