Who Mentioned Hedgehogs?

I am sorely distressed that you have stooped to publishing the purile ravings of poor demented cafe chips eaters such as Miriam and Madeline, who are apparently suffering from the little known disease of Germanitis and consequently should seek professional help as soon as possible.

I am also under the impression that these persons seek to take over the world and, while I can only wish them the best of luck, I do hope that they can do it without using that outrageous German accent.

How about that, my first letter this year and I haven's mentioned Hedgehogs once?

Arthur P. Hedgehog, Esq.