Other formats

    Adobe Portable Document Format file (facsimile images)   TEI XML file   ePub eBook file  

Connect

    mail icontwitter iconBlogspot iconrss icon

Salient. Newspaper of the Victoria University Students' Association. Vol 42 No. 20. August 27 1979

A Travel Guide

A Travel Guide

Dear Sir,

How were your summer holidays? Not too much rain I hope. I worked all through my holidays; so, accuarately speaking, I did not have any holidays, apart from a Christmas at home watching my Uncle from Wainuiomata eat two turkeys, a leg of ham, and approximately two dozen mincemeat pies, which my mother had spent a week painstakingly cooking. Of course, there was the four days (culminating in New Year's Day). I spent with five others on Waiteriri beach. We stayed in a little paddock, dotted with cowshit, called Peter's Motor Camp. Peter himself was a good sort, who made it his business to put all stray guests, making fools of themselves, to bed at 3 am every morning. He only caught me once, on the other three nights I hid in the trees.

Waiteriri is a spiffing place. There are two motor camps and a shop. Until I visited the place I thought every New Zealand town had several pubs (hell, even Tikokino has one). So after arriving we travelled twenty miles back to Levin and stocked up. Three days, half a gallon of bourbon a quart of run, a dozen beers and a crate of coke later (not forgetting the coffee in the morning) it was New Year's Eve. Peter came to warn us not to rough his camp up (I had noticed that he had stuck us and our two tents approximately three hundred metres from the other guests, over in the far corner of the paddock). To be fair, we only terrorised the good looking girls and stole a soccer ball off some little kids. That was the night Peter caught me and my friends. He reckoned we were creating a nuisance. We left it to the only Scotsman amongst us to explain we were out First Footing, but all the clod could say was, 'Give me back me Juice'.

If you think that this letter is too irrelevant to print; you could always print it as a travelogue to Waiteriri. In a few weeks I'll send you a similar letter about my holiday in Motueka, two years ago.

By the way, what the fuck happened to the table-cloths at Victoria Club? They were good value, we are still using the last one as toilet paper, we have only washed it twice.

Love and Kisses,

Phil (the pus sucker)