A Bad Case of Theft

Through your column I would like to appeal to Mr B. G. Kelly. Apparently he met a young lady of my acquaintance at a duel this afternoon. It has reached my can that the only thing she has been heard to say since then is, "What a man, B. G., what a man".

Now, I ask you, what kind of a state is that for a poor, wee, girl to be in? If you've stolen her heart B. G. Kelly, you deserve a fate worse than 724404-6699230!!