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Salient. Newspaper of the Victoria University Students' Association. Vol 42 No. 14. July 2 1979

Easier Crosswords Please

Easier Crosswords Please

Dear Salient and Editor,

How are ya? Since this is the first time we've put pen to paper this year writing to you. This is a dual effort as we have several niggles that we want to bring to your attention.

Firstly to Snodgrut and Co in Salient No 12, okay Weir House may be the next best thing to Godzone (minus Muldoon), but if you lot relate the Gumboot Maniac to a pile of Wombat's doos again, (which is not very fair to Wombats is it?) Very insulting in fact, as we are not dumb but highly intelligent creatures, and another point we are no claiming to be God's reincarnation either!) I will set my Rubber Dingo on you. While we are on the subject, my friend the Llama informs me that Ralph the wonder llama isn't one.

Secondly the Gumboot Maniac is a Cretin, besides his feet stink.

Thirdly to Reginald Krutz (last weeks Salient) how would you like your teeth removed through your arse hole? Everybody has the right to write into Salient regardless of political outlook etc, or what they claim to be. This is about the only tiling left that we can do with any freedom; the only comeback is abuse from disagreeable parties, so when some slimy semi-decomposed turd says that some people shouldn't be allowed to write in, well lookout, something nasty may happen to you. Anyway, these letters are screened by an Editor or somebody to that effect, so if there was too many of a particular "type of letter, he / she wouldn't pass them for printing.

Fourthly, please can we have a different type of crossword, I can't do cryptic crosswords, (they are' in a different dimension to my brain waves), nor can many other people I know; probably due to the extreme brain strain involved and low interest factor, so howz about something like the Rock crosswords in Canta, a general knowledge type, or maybe a plain ordinary dominion type one?

Fifthly and lastly, I am writing, to the pimple fucker, scab sucker, pox infested bright pink polystyrene dildo o! a vehicle driver that poked its tow-bar or similar suitable part of his or hers (just in case the feminists are reading) cars' anatomy through the nice polished chrome grille of my trusty steed. How would you like your headlights punched out? I have been at this castle in fantasyland for 3 enjoyable years apart from the fact that during those 3 years I have had my cars' grille modified 4 times, so I say to you with the backing of other car owners who have had their cars paintwork, bodywork modified by your type of driver keep out of the car park, or better still keep off the roads and leave the petrol for those who can control their cars reasonably and enjoy driving.

Yours in extreme wonderment.. The dynamic duo The Motoring Plastic Wombat, and the Kapok Kangaroo.