TV Bastard

But Battlestar Galactica's imitation of Star Wars is faulty. Lucas's film had a kind of purity in its fantasy — it was totally divorced from the 'real world' and was able to exist independently of any standards of 'realism' we might take a fancy to applying to it. Its dialogue was cliched, and genuinely funny as a fond send-up.

The dialogue in Battlestar is trite and cardboard, coming not from any sense of humour but merely the addled brains of writers saturated in the tradition of American prime-time television. Battlestar Galactica was made for American television, and it shows. Quite apart form the numerous cuts indicating intended commercial breaks, injected into the pure fantasy of Star Wars is an unappetizing vein of sexuality, political [unclear: morand] all the other network production values we've come to know so well.

And so we get Lorne Green repeat his Bonanza role and being as god-[unclear: awfl] ever; Jane Seymour doing her [unclear: smould] sexpot rountine and giving off as [unclear: muc] as ever; two tall and handsome young pilots doing a passable Starsky and [unclear: Wum] imitation; a cute-as-a-button child [unclear: tu] at the heartstrings of the adults; a [unclear: peal] for single-parent families; two (count [unclear: tl] two) token blacks; a smattering of [unclear: bus] blondes; a pro-American anti-Commie line that makes even Senator McCarthy vaguely socialist; and a few burning [unclear: bol] for comic relief. Try to imagine Star [unclear: teh] meets Chips meets Charlie's Angels [unclear: ma]Swat meets The Waltons'.

I'm getting carried away. Battlestar lactica does have its good bits - like the [unclear: lon] attack on the city, and the battle or bridge (stolen from Tolkien, but what [unclear: teh] and the singing trio on the Ovion [unclear: piand] even worth going just for the corny [unclear: waf] about sensurround that introduces the [unclear: i] itself.

Nevertheless, I have it on the very be authorities that it's not as good to see [unclear: st] as Star Wars was - though obviously the bidden weed would improve it no end.

On the whole, give me Luke and [unclear: Leia] day.

Paul Hagan