Brolly - Phobia

It has been a continual source of both irritation and amazement to me in my wanderings about this magnificent memorial to higher learning to find myself for ever engaged in combat with foul hordes of the local umbrella-users. I Indeed at times I am literally fighting for space in which to breathe, such is the amount of space these fiends waste on their unwieldy contraptions.

I find it impossible to believe that the local intelligentsia still allow and even use these vicious and barbaric relics of a more brutal age. Can something not be done about this stigma attached to our beloved V.U.W.?

To further my argument one has only to examine any non-umbrella user to discover a multitude of scars inflicted by the latter-day weapon of death. Perhaps restriction to a 45cm diameter might reduce the 'brolly-toll', or indeed a prohibitively high tax on the carrying and use of these devices to perfectly suited as hand-to-hand weapons.