Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde

In the National Issue on politics we featured a spread on a National Party publication entitled "Years of Lightning". Amusing as this document is, it by no means rises to the top of the quagmire of National propaganda floating around. There is a little pamphlet called "Doctor Muldoon: Miracle Maker" which really has to be seen to be believed.

It's all about this charming little fellow with an ever-so-engaging dimple in his cheek who has magnanimously undertaken to cure a dreadfully ill patient. Of course there are side effects, like unemployment, and the prescription isn't the sweetest of medicines for some of the taste buds to endure, and nor should it be expected that the patient will get well again overnight. For the plain facts of the matter are, the poor fellow has had a dreadful disease and his condition was very very critical for a lengthy period of time. It's cute, thie pamphlet, that the only word to describe it.

The analogy is good too. The National Party has proved its respect for the medical profession this year in the utmost deference in showed over the abortion issue and the widely respected man they chose to watch over Health. What more fitting than that it personified its leader as one of those esteemed few?

A little after this pamphlet came out the good doctor started holding regular all night soirees in a comfortable little drawing room he has a hand in running. Some people have become a bit disturbed at this, and others think it's because the worriers didn't think of it first or had been told not to stay out late or something, but a few people have started spreading a dangerous rumour. They reckon these soirees are mysteriously timed to coincide with the passage of the moon. In fact, at the mention of a certain phase they become positively weak at the knees and start watching the palms of their neighbours' hands.

There's another rumour some people are spreading too. It is sure not to be nearly as likely as the first, but it concerns conqenital diseases, and fathers contracting them round the time sons are born, and fathers bying in psychiatric hospitals of them. An erstwhile King of England and the present King of Scotland are cited as examples. But there's nothing to worry about, because doctors know how to look after themselves.

Labour isn't into doctors, it's the family man image this party chases. Good, honest, noble, upright and above all, sincerely concerned. Labour is going to look after the family, especially the family which displays the qualities it tries to display. It may not sparkle, it may not rampage around getting a reputation for itself, it may not even align itself with a particular group in society (there aren't really any are ? there' Except the unions of course, and they re-only pretend to be).

There isn't a lot more one can say about Labour in this story, for in the fine tradition of such tales, sobriety, even when it is sliqhtly marred by the odd personal scandal, rumour of drunkenness, etc. does not attract much attention. It's the evil side that counts, and if you want to be the forces of good, what better way than to convince people of your claim than highlight the follies of the forces of evil. Do it well and enough people may not even notice the relationship between the two. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde? It isn't a real story.