Salient Notes

The door of the Salient office stands ajar, a thin arrow of blue moonlight hovers artistically across the paper-strewn floor. Inside it is dark but two eyes glow like white-hot coals betraying the eerie subhuman presence of Peter Beach trying to tune in to the mental wavelength of Heraclitus, "the dark one" of antiquity, in time for his Phil 121 exam tomorrow. Incense burns and the tentative twanging of a sitar is heard. No, my mistake, closer inspection reveals it to be Simon Wilson using the typesetter. Ten thousand dollars worth of equipment and it commands less respect than Jonathan Scott. As my eyes adjust to the light it becomes evident that there is more going on here than meets the unadjusted eye. An owl hoots indignantly from its perch on top of Lorraine Robinson's head. Sorry to disturb you owl, I was just wondering why the walls are all covered with Persian carpets. The owl does a triple loop-the-loop, zig-zags up, dive-bombs down and flies upside down out the door. In a flash I realise myself to be one of the few surviving observers of the Pythagoras owl. Tripping over Helen Aikman's body on the floor confirms this theory.

Outside in the graveyard a wolf howls. Another wolf howls. Andrew Casey screams. Silence falls again. The ground staff are going to have to do something about those wolves. That idea of introducing Grizzly Bears to kill them off didn't go down very well with the Student Health Service. Oblivious to the danger Martha Coleman sits on a grassy bank pulling the heads off social democrats. Up in the trees above her an owl hoots.

Odder and odder. A rhythmic tapping noise downstairs calls the Sherlock Holmes in me to investigate. David Kent hurries past with a dripping bucket of cement. Turning the corner of the stairs at the enterance of the Union Building I find all trace of the cafeteria totally obscured by David Murray's 35ft long scale replica of the Great Wall of China nearing completion. It's his way of saying thank you to the China Delegation selection committee and goodbye to his friends here at Varsity. The caretaker's frenzied protests fall on deaf ears as Victoria Kennedy paces it's uncertain surface with a cardboard gun. Clo Taylor adds finishing touches to the base as the sound of rushing Water signifies that the filling of the fiord has commenced. Like talking to a brick wall he mumbles and leaves them to it. With a rush of wings an owl flies down the stairs, executes a perfect isosceles triangle in mid-air and settles on the wall. One eye closes, then the other. The lights fade and die.

I can't see Salient getting done this week. We might have to doctor up last week's Craccum again. But if "it is" it will edited by Simon Wilson, printed by Wanganui Newspapers Drews Lane, Wanganui, and published by the courageous Victoria University of Wellington Students Association.