Getting a Job

The interview I had with a certain photographer went like this: I stood waiting by desk for 10 minutes while he shuffled his papers and chewed gum like a GI, then he looked up and said in a mock American accent: "Well, baby, what can I do for you?"

"I'd like to do modelling."

"So you want to be a model, well baby, I'll tell you straight, it's not all glamour, it's hard work, let's have a look at you," chewing all the time.

"Well baby, not bad, not bad. Turn around, your hips are too big - make them smaller. Turn around. Your eyes are too small, make them bigger. But I'll give you some test shots anyway. How's that eh? I don't have to, mind you." (Kiss my toes).

"Wear a denim shirt open down the front and be here at 8.00 tonight, see you, see you."

These test shots are to see if you are photogenic and any good at putting on an act for the camera.

Then came the phone call from the photographer. "The shots were great baby, great." (Always this endearing term, Baby). "We'll do your first shot tomorrow. Big ad this, big job. You will be wearing $2000 worth of fur, only you will have to make those boobs stick out more - pad them up with something. Okay? And I want that makeup to be perfect - big eyes. Okay?

After standing for about two hours concentrating on a smouldering smile in a $2000 fur next to a $1000 dog and eskimo artifact, the job was done and we all went to dinner in a fast car to a smooth restaurant. This all sounds very glamorous, but it's all part of the business scene and the model doesn't mean a thing to these people except that she has to sell their product. The model is the underdog - for example I was paid $30 for that particular advertisement (four months later), which sounds a lot for two hours work, but the photographer would have received about $400 and the agent about $800.

The amount of money which a firm will spend on advertising a product is endless, for example hiring ten people to stand around blowing bubbles over you in a bath tub for three hours, or getting ten models organised by five in the morning at Bethells Beach to catch the right light which will sell see-through lingerie to all the young sophisticates of Remuera.