Salient Notes

Yes! It'i All Star Pro Journalism. An exciting night of fighting.

But before crossing to centre ring for the action, a word with Steven Benbrook, Commonwealth Libel Champion. "Well, hello New Zealand. It looks like a great n night's entertainment we've got for you tonight. First on the card we've got 6-than tag action, and then you can see the ladies in action. And then it's over to centre ring for the first bout."

Sally Redman leads her demon team, feared the University over, into the ring. Simple Simon Wilson, otherwise known as the human orangatan, is first in, followed by brother Nigel and Jonathan Scott. Jonathan picks up a rotten tomato thrown from the audience and eats it. Not to be outdone Nigel pulls up one of the ringside posts and begins to gnaw it reflectively as Simon starts to knock things over, things like the referee and David "Tartan Trousers" Murray, first of the opponents to venture into the ring.

Eager to avenge this insult to his chief-Peter Beach began to accuse Simon of editorial bias. The opposition immediately calls foul, and while the ref's attention is distracted Nigel starts to eat Doug Thompson, airline ticket and all. Victoria Kennedy, remembering her responsibilities as referee orders both sides back to their corners.

Taking advantage of this respite, Lamorna Rogers tries to nurse her team back to fighting health, but Doug is pretty far gone: only his legs now protrude from Nigel's grinning countenance.

But David's Scotch blood is really up now, and without waiting for the beginning of the bout, begins to re-arrange the master-sheets, while Peter starts destroying copy. Even Doug does his bit. His feet are just at the right level for him to reach the type-setter and begin to type ou out corrections.

But Simon's not beaten yet. He's got th the staff wages, and begins to make judicious alterations, while Nigel starts on a sketch portraying David as the first man with two bums, one at each end of his body.

Lorraine Robinson now enters the ring illegally and starts to burn Peter at the stake, screaming "Heretic", and covering him with Religious Studies essays soaked in kerosene and stout.

Just as things begin to get really heated Margot McGillivray leaps into the ring and after only an hour or two manages to interrupt the Fighters to show them a letter from La Heyman's lawyer. "You're about to get deposed by the Zionists," she screams.

The squabble stops as quickly as it began the erstwhile foes joining forces against a common enemy and prepare for the coming battle. Tra la la.

Until the revolution occurs Simon Wilson will continue to edit Salient, and VUW SA to publish it. We all hope that Wanganui will continue to print it.