Desert Rats

Megaton/Desert Patrol

The Suburban Reptiles Virgin

A twelve-inch single? Not unusual overseas, but one manufactured in N.Z.? Furthermore, the 'artists' being a N.Z. 'group'? This is too much, I cry in disbelief. (I cry in disbelief at this review— subeditor) (I cry in disbelief at this subeditor — typstr) (I cry in disbelief at this typesetter — proofreader) (I cry. . .)

Such is the debut record release (and hopefully the last) by the Suburban Reptiles, an Auckland 'punk' outfit. It's called Megaton.

God, it's awful.

The lead 'singer' (Sally Slag?) sounds like Poly Styrene (of X-Ray Spex and "Oh Bondage, Up Yours" fame) on one of her bad days (does she have any good days?), and believe me that's awful.

The 'song' (I'm tentative about bestowing such a title upon this record) begins a la Pyjamarama (i.e. guitar noise). Then comes the drums and bass.

The electric sax fights for life against a cacophany of untuned guitars and barely audible lines such as: "Don't give that shit about unity/Cos all I want is to be me.

Everybody starts (or continues) to play in their own sweet time until the sax re-enters (did it ever really leave?) to gather up the lose ends so to speak.

The B-side is half the time and twice as bad.

"The Suburban Reptiles— a band of international class and interest" (to quote the sleeve-notes)? If they're the future of Rock'n Roll, then Abba are the new Rolling Stones.

Greg Cotmore