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Salient. Official Newspaper of Victoria University of Wellington Students Association. Vol 40 No. 26. October 3 1977

Salient Notes

page 18

Salient Notes

The staff of the Salient Insurrection Service rub their hands in disbelief. David (the Magistrate) Murray sips his Bellamy's whiskey and looks up. "The time has come to subvert democracy for your country." The word was enough. Karori letter boxes are but the first casualties of Major-General (Retired) Gyles Beckford's swinging axe. Lieutenant (filmic) Simon Wilson sits, pen at the ready, while WAC Lamorna Rogers, in a frenzy of letter openeing, makes a chilling discovery. The air is thick with House of Representatives' cigarette smoke - Group Commander (dramatic) Andrew Dungan wipes his brow with an old copy of Truth and studies the file on Readers Digest subscribers. Lieutenant - Colonel (punk) Pat O'Dea is phone tapping to the tune of "Anarchy in the U.K." and receives a sharp reprimand from the two pathological Agriculture and Fisheries recruits Rose Collins and Sue Cairney. An uneasy silence prevails. Major (N.S.U.) Chris Norman [unclear: arios] his feet in horror, only too aware of the raffle system used to banish Corporal (disgraced) Bruce Robinson to a boncentration bamp. The silence is shattered by the quiet buzz of the telephone. Colonel (Tertiary) Dave Macpherson opens the drawer and calmly picks up the receiver while Sergeant Mike Stephens' ever vigilant finger presses down firmly on the tape recorder button. False alarm! It's only Lynette Shum and Jane Wilcox, reporting back after a dangerous photographic mission at the Boys' Institute. Heaved sighs fill the room, causing Captain (purple heart) Kevin Swann to choke in an atmosphere dense with carbon dioxide.

"Life in the S.I.S. is tough ", hardened WAAC Helen Corrigan informs Private (parts) Tom Duggan who replaces Lance Corporal (ex) David Hedge at the controls of the Wanganui Computer. The luckless Hedge had "been caught playing chess with the computer by the alert Rire Scotney, whose foresight in having her T.V. converted to closed-circuit surveillance earned her a complimentary skeleton key from Quarter Master Dave Merritt and a free warrant that enabled her to break into as many houses as she wanted for a year, courtesy of Subversion Supplies Officer David Beresford.

But life isn't all bugging and letter openeing (although Ensign Rod James was rudely surprised by a YS letter-bomb - fortunately it turned out to be fizzer). Through the door barge the Service's brownshirted intellectuals delinquents Gerard Couper, Rod Prosser, and Sean Tuohy dragging an unconscious Eugene Doyle behind them. They've just spent their traditional Thursday night of broken glass at the Romney. Apprehensively Lalita Kasanji and Louise Dunne draw their [unclear: taper] knivesin defence. Olivia Stephens cannot avoid a playfully tossed beerbottle and she falls into the arms of Leonie Morris. "Bloody fascists" mutters a revisionist Quentin Roper. An unfortunate comment in the circumstances particularly in the presence of volatile Salient special helpers Steve Underwood, Peter Thrush, Richard Bohmer, Jan Calvert and Gill Thomas, who set upon the luckless Roper with all the restraint of an MP at a cocktail party. Meanwhile John Hogan (Argentina squad) broadcasts the weather report and Brian Farrington prints an article on penguin farming. In the background Wendy Bachler, Caroline Bowman, Angela Boyce-Barnes, Meg Bailey, and Sylvia Goddard prepare indictment papers against unsuspecting members of the public.

But what was that chilling discovery Lamorna Rogers made? Can't be printed I'm afraid. Check out the files in the VUWSA staff office for the answer.

Students who will be completeing their degree at the end of this year can obtain information on employment opportunities for graduates from the University Careers Advisory Service, 6 Kelburn Parade, telephone 728 150. A list of current vacancies for graduates is issued every two to three weeks. If you would like a copy give your name and address to the Careers Advisory Service.