Other formats

    Adobe Portable Document Format file (facsimile images)   TEI XML file   ePub eBook file  

Connect

    mail icontwitter iconBlogspot iconrss icon

Salient. Official Newspaper of Victoria University of Wellington Students Association. Vol 40 No. 23. September 12 1977

Salient Notes

Salient Notes

Well the year is almost over soon and to celebrate this great event Salient this week brings you me staff notes with a difference. For one thing they have been typed out in italic and for another there has been no spelling mistakes so far. In fact if this goes on it will be a very historic event. Anyway, after the masses rose up as one and demanded Staff Notes after last weeks unfortunate ommission we are about to present for your appraisal the all-new Salient look for 1977.

There has always been a lot of speculation over whether Salient has the right to exist. Some would like to see it driven into the sea, but placing us all aboard the Cook Strait ferry is hardly useful, besides some of us suffer from sea-sickness. There are those others who say that the borders of Salient should be set down in accordance with the British Mandate of 1922, but again this is hardly on since no-one in Salient recognises the sovereignty of the British let alone their stupid Mandates. Other always like to hit us with the historical background . . . Salient has never and shall never be expansionist, that is except when it needs 'more space'. As you will be a ware it was Salient under the guidance of the great Chairman Murray that went ahead and annexed the Sudatenland to grab for itself valuable layout space. The darkroom is another case all together Originally established in 1967, the darkroom has engaged in several bitter two and six days wars with the smoking lounge. If you are quiet and don't wear a U.N. armband you may hear them shelling each other late at night from the Golan Heights. Does the typesetting room have the right to self-determination under Salient Law? And what about the homeless Editors office, whose lands were taken off it by the expansionist light table?

This week Salient sent its crack negotiation team into the area to engage in peaceful dialogue. Always bearing in mind Salient Resolution 2345/211/a/z, the team spent days around the light-table trying to reach a solution. The great leader, David Murray advocated that the homeless Editor's office be given a patch of stoney barren land. This request was refused by the light table representative. Gyles Beckford, who claimed that historically speaking the two had vener got on well. Lamorna Rogers tried to propose a compromise, but was shouted down by cries of "sellout" from Simon Wilson and Andrew Dungan. Gerard Couper appeared once but was forced to retreat when his Salt Missile complex broke down and drove him mad. Dave Merritt told everybody that it could all be solved by holding elections on the West Bank of the Darkroom, but with his past history in elections, Sue Cairney wasn't sure. Meanwhile from the Editors office. Rose Collins screamed for silence as she tried to concentrate on the words and wisdom of Lisa Sacksen, who from the plush. high-zoot NZUSA Office had been telling all of her plans of world conquest. Rose's request was met by a hail of C02 from the great Salient fire extinguisher, manned by comrade Chris Norman. High above the scene in his MIG 16, Biggies turned to his co-pilot, Algy and said "It looks like hell down there". Algy nodded and lit up a Rothmans which Merritt has brought for clandestine reasons. Lynette Shum captured the historic event on film which was immediately annexed by Jane Wilcox. "At last she cried, it's mine" and went running off back to Arrow town to pan for gold. However, the Suez was sanded in that day and she had to go around the Cape and then over the walking stick. GASP .... the cape, the walking-stick ... it can be only one person ....

Who is the masked stranger? Why does he wear a cape and carry a walking-stick. Is he armed with Surface to Air Missiles? And why do his arms drag on the floor? Watch this space next week for the next exciting episode of Prince Charles, My Part in his Career.