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Salient. Official Newspaper of Victoria University of Wellington Students Association. Vol 40 No. 20. August 8 1977

Ronald Risque

page 13

Ronald Risque

RONALD RISQUE

HMM... TWO BUCKS TO SPEND NEXT YEAR? HMM! MAYBE I CAN AFFEORD TO WASH MY CLOTHES! SNIFF! SNIFF! YEP! S'ABOUT TIME ALRITE SINCE I HAVEN'T WASHED FOR A MONTH I GUSS I'D BETTER USE HALF GOD DAMN IT! IT COSTS $2 TO BUY JOAP POEWR $2 SURE AS HELL DOESN'T GO FAR! GURGLE SPLURSH LESSEE... HALF A BOX OF SOAP POWER SHOULD STRECTCH OUT OVER TH' NEXT FOUR MONTHS! GURGLE GURGLE TWO HOURS LATER.. SHEE-IT! THAT GODDAM MACHINES ROUGH WONDER WHAT IT'S DOIN TO JACKET! I CAN'T SEE IT!! GLUB AFTER RESCUING HIS WASHING FROM THE RAVAGES OF A CAUSTIC SODA SOLUTION AND MUTANT 9 PIN WASHER .... I LEFT MY ZIG-ZAGS IN A GODDAM SHIRT POCKET! AND I DON'T FIND JACKET EITVER! ROUND (THE HERO OF THIS TALE) POUNDER THE COST OF DRYING HIS TWEEDS AT A LAUNDROMAT... HEY ! I CAN DAVE $2 BY DRYING IT MY SELF! NOW...IF ONLY IT STAYS FINE AND IF BHRDS DON'T SHIT ON IT! THINK I'LL LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC TILL IT'S DRY ... HMM... DECISIONS... DECISIONS... WONDER WHAT ROMOURS IS LIKE RONALD'S LISTENING IS SUDDENLY INTERRUPTED BY A NOISE OUTSIDE... WHAT IN HELLS THAT NOISE? CRASH YIP YIP YIP RIP! CROWL PITTER! PITTER! PITTER! AAARGH MY CLOTHES! ARF! ARF! BARK BARK YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP SOUND OF DOGS DIS APPERWIG DOWN THE ROAD (WITH RONALD'S WASHING) BACK DOG BACK Y'CAN SEE WAY THEY'VE STILL ANIMALS.. NO SENSE OF DECORUM ACNE APPLIAN WELL, I GUSDD THIS IS THE LAST RESORT AHEM I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR WASHER AND DRYERS... PLSASE AH...WELL SIR, THIS IS OUR SPECIAL TUMBER AND DRIER WHEN IS FILLY IT EVEN REONS SHIRT WAS ITS ONLY $109.7 PLUS TH BLAN BLAN BLAN BLAN IS YUP! THIS IS JUST THE RIGHT SIZE! UH.. YOU DON'T MIND GIVING ME ADEMONSTRATION?...JUST TO TEST THE MERCHANDISE Y' UNDERSTAND ...TO BE CONTINUED.........