Salient Notes

Diseases we have Known.

It was chaos again in the Salient office this week as Salient Editor David ("Why argue when you can use a slogan?") Murray (editor's knee) lay at home, struck down by a mysterious illness and staff battled over custody of his padded room. Gyles ("What me editor?") Beckford (paprophobia) was prominent in the fight and secured a temporary victory when he succeeded in ripping the seats. Prominent too in the fray was David Hedge (blight) writer of last week's review of the Bible, already topping the Waipara best-seller lists. David hopes to go on to review the telephone book and the Railway timetables if the editor lets him use the coloured pencils, again. Keeping a close eye on proceedings were the Salient review staff Simon Wilson (flicks), Andrew Dungan(plays) and Patrick ("Sorry I'm just looking") O'Dea (cirrosis of the liver) as well as advertising manager Mike Stephens (bile). They were being roundly abused by Bruce (Why argue when you can use an insult?") Robinson (blindness) as well as Hire ("Why argue?") Scotney (exposure) and Sue Calrney (ear, nose and throat). Also watching were ace layout trainees Rose Collins (influenza and a temperature of 102) and Lamorna Rogers ( mixamotosis). It was rumoured that Gerard Couper (dyslexia) has been seen in the vicinity of the Salient office once again as well as Leonie Morris (giggling) and Lindy Cassidy (encephalitis). Reporting the whole affair was Eugene Doyle (glandular fever) our ace exec reporter who has finally succumbed to sleeping sickness. However he has managed to report the last ten exec meetings beating the record held by John Henderson (deadshit) since 1975 when he reported nine consecutive exec meetings before succumbing to halitosis. Typing the story were the Salient typesetters Wendy Bachler and taking the pictures were Lynette Schum (carrots) and Jane Wilcox (swedes). Last but not least were Jan Calvert (cats) who'se feeling the cold this week and David Tripe (food poisoning) who often feels the cold not to mention Chris Norman (laryngitis). Rod James (mutations) and Dave Merrit (sinecure) and Kevin Swann (psitichosis), recently escaped from the London School of Tropical Medecine. Standing close by were Dave McPherson (golfer's elbow) and his brother Bruce whose surname we can't remember. We would also like to thank the following exec members without whose absence this issue would not have been possible: Steve Underwood (dropsy). Peter Gilklnson (catatonia), Peter Thrush (paranoia). Sue Hannah (lethargy), Neil Gray (bovine tuberculosis)" Next week SRC!

Salient is published by VUWSA and printed by Wanganui newspapers.