Inside Out Column

This is the first of the "Inside Out Column" designed to carry on the fine traditions of the Crap Young Aro St. Caucus and the Right Column. Our aim is to bring the witty, the inane, the scandal, and the rumours to the surface. We would appreciate contributions and these can be sent to us, through the Salient 6ffice, c/- of the Editor, who will pass them on to the Inside Out correspondents, (who live in a seaside villa not 100 miles from Santa Cruz). There is also no truth to the rumour that Sir Jack Marshall is one of the authors of this column.

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While we are are on the subject of denying rumours we are appalled at the continued credibility being given to various stories about the marriage of the Muldoons. Despite the fact that these rumours have been going the rounds of Parliament we ourselves heard it from a person in one of the Minister's Offices, we cannot believe that any thing that has been suggested is true, and anyway the money figure most quoted is much less than what we heard.

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Speaking of money figures we hear that the Russian Embassy is proving to be more than reluctant about paying out the sum of around $200 for damage to a car that they did while driving one of their five Mercedes down Devon Street recently. Surely even the new Czars could find a few roubles to rectify damage which was their own fault anyway.

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Cars seem to be in the news, our Auckland contact informs us that Christopher Harder, Auckland Law Student, who thought it would be good to indulge in some union disciplining because he was inconvenienced by the bus strike has, bought himself a Triumph Herald so that he gets in and out to varsity from his home in Mission Bay. One could ask where the money came from but we would not accept the uncharitable and grossly untrue remarks that he made a tidy profit from collecting money on Auckland campus for his 'law suit' and from his interview with the Listener.

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While we are visiting Auckland campus it would seem that the Auckland University Students Association have almost run out of cold hard cash. Previously AUSA was always characterised as having more money than sense now they are short on both commodities.

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Finally a success story close to home. VUWSA Treasurer Steve Underwood has moved up from collecting the rents for other people to collecting them for himself. He has become a true member of the landed gentry with his purchase of a house in Telford Terrace (just off Oriental Parade). Obviously Steve needed all the spare capital that he could lay his hands on but we are loath to suggest this as a reason for asking for an honorarium increase at the beginning of the year.

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Quote of the Week

From a letter to the Listener sent in by SPUC.

"And we are totally opposed to sex education in schools. Sex is a wonderful, beautiful and joyous thing, provided it takes place between married people late in the evening. We are appalled to think that sex may be ruined and degraded by schools in the same way as the new maths ruined and degraded arithmetic."

(And with the light off of course).