Beware the Clepto!

This letter is addressed to that festering pox filled bastard who had the audacity to rip off my bag from outside the library on the second day of the term.

By now you will have discovered that there was bugger all in my bag, as unfortunately for you I took the advice of the Registrar and removed my valuables, including recently purchased text books to the hallowed premises of the library.

The only way to redeem yourself is to return my bag to its place of removal, with or without the two packets of fags which where inside. You will not be able to use my bag at varsity as it has distinguishing marks which are known to me and which are unremoveable.

In my suffering, I offer a word of advice to my fellow non-cleptomaniacal students; use the Security bag check at all times to remove temptation from our thieving fellows. I surely will be from now on.