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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 39, Number 21, September 6, 1976.

Joynt Scroll

Joynt Scroll

The inter-university debating competition was held at Victoria during the August holidays with teams from Auckland. Canterbury and Otago competing against us for the misshapen wooden shield affectionately known as the Joynt Scroll. The absence of student bodies from campus diminished the audience somewhat in quantity, although the quality of the Auckalnd contingent's interjections - "Get yer pants down yer fairy" - were never in doubt.

The first round was judged by a well-known teacher, Jack Shallcrass who was deeply impressed by the versatile Auckland team, given to tequila drinking and tap-dancing on the chairman (who thoroughly deserved it).

When the tequila had worn off, the A Auckland team decided that these tactics would not necessarily win them the competition; their second debate, against Otago, was conducted with unnecessary decorum. Highlight of this round was the debate between Canterbury and Victoria on the subject "That N.Z. should be a rest centre for U.S. troops". Victoria won this debate by outlining a brilliant plan to turn N.Z. into a giant whorehouse and cesspool designed to effect a cultural if not military conquest of the U.S. army. Canterbury was secretly so pleased with this idea that their morale was sapped although their third speaker pointed out that any plan of concerted action by N.Z. women would be sure to fail given their tendency to 'bake it rather than make it".

The final saw the long anticipated confrontation between Victoria and Auckland, debating that "That the first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible". Victoria prepared by reading Hegel, Plato (The Laws not The Republic), Rousseau and Oscar Wilde; Auckalnd's method, Victoria looking haggard and unwashed swept to victory. Best speaker of the evening was the darling of the V.U.W. debating society, Virginia Goldblatt, followed by well-known intellectual Crawford Falconer, with the still youthful David Linney coming home third.

The adjudicator was heard to mutter as he went out the door that this was the best Joynt Scroll debate he had evern seen with the exception of a few. We welcome the shield back to Victoria, its natural home from which it was ruthlessly torn by Canterbury a number of years ago.