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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. [Volume 39, Number 19, 1976.]


page 24


Letters can be handed in at the letterbox just inside the Salient office or handed in to the editor personally. However if you wish to pay 8c postage then send your letters to PO Box 1347, Wellington. Letters should be double spaced and on one side of the paper only.

Sports Officer Replies to Criticism

Dear John,

I would like to reply to your two correspondents who in last week's issue railed the point of refunds from Easter Tournament. Dealring with Mr Lawsons first point I shoud like to make several points:
1.Several members of Mr Lawson's team were among the group who were told by the ticketing manager at Christchurch Railway Station, that a refund would be paid on presentation of an unused ticket. As Mr Lawson has daid, it was in this understanding that several people purchased a ticket for an earlier train.
2.Once on our train I counted, recorded the names of all those on board and presented the number to the guard. In accordance with the regulations he verified the number and signed the back of the ticket.
3.I retained the ticket and presented it with a 2 page report (which is on file in the Stud. Ass. Office) to the ticketing office in Wellington. They thanked me
4.After ten days of non-action, I contacted the Railways. I was referred to a Mr Morrison in the commercial department. He informed me statements were being collected from interested parties in Ch Ch, and promised to contact me shortly.
5.Since that time I have made frequent phone calls to the Railways; in all I have made four trips down there personally. These have proved fruitless.
6.On Wednesday 21 July, I received a phone call from a Mr Todd of the commercial department of the Railways, who was surprised to find that there had been no action, and again promised a speedy settlement.
7.I would submit that there is nothing further I can do. The Railways have an obligation to pay us the money they owe. I have requested the Presidents of V.U.W. Sports Council Inc and V.U.W.S.A. to write to the Railways expressing their concern that students should be out of pocket for so long, and for reasons that are none of their own making.

In the light of this I would like to turn now to Mr Bargh's comments.

I have received an instruction from the President of Sports Council to with-hold refunds until the money from the Railways has been paid. This is because of the situation Mr Bargh alluded to: the payment of refunds last year.

In that case, the Sports Officer, Mr Kevin Wright declared a surplus of $110.00. He decided an equitable division of this was $11.00 to the first 10 people to front up. Accordingly a large sum of money was paid out. Unfortunately for the Association. Mr Wright had done his sums wrongly, and the actual surplus was only $11.00. If Mr Bargh received his refund promptly, I suggest it was because he was lucky enough to get in quick, before the error was discovered.

The prevent the same sort of occurrance, the President has ordered that no refunds shall be paid until the Railways pay up.

I have also decided not to pay any refunds wuntil Mr Wright supplies a list of those people who flew from Christchurch to Dunedin on an expired ticket which was in his possession. Mr Wright knows this but I have been waiting for over one and a half months without receiving any reply.

As a participant in Tournaments who has been out of pocket for the same reasons of beaurocratic inefficiency, I sympathise with all students waiting for their refund. However, ther cis little more I can do, save harass the commercial department of the Railways. Rather than blaming me, I suggest to all those people in this position, that they write to the Railways. This will naturally add weight to my own efforts, and is sure to guarantee a speedy recovery.

Yours sincerely,

Peter Thrush,

Sports Officer.

Weir House Crumble Mumble

Dear John,

(Don't you ever get sick of these 'Dear John' letters?). Could you please let us extend a message to that awfully bothersome chappie Mr Applecrumble. He is making a frightful nuisance of himself. The pesty little blighter.

And someone else said that Applecrumb's poetry is so good it deserves a Cole's Notes edition of its own. Fancy that - here is an extract of the proposed edition: Biographical Notes

Applecrumb came from an orchard in Eketahuna and was the youngest of a bunch of nine. His father was chopped down before the young Applecrumb was ripe and this is reflected in Applecrumb's attempts to hide his insecurity in traditional poetic devices such as alliteration: "Belly, balls and bladder bulging" as well as immature neologisms: "Thugby".

Of course Applecrumble is a man of the world - this is probably attributable to the fact that there was always a lingering doubt in the young poets mind that he was the result of an illicit cross-pollination. He is an eclectic poet - there are traces of Robbie Burns:

"....dinna fash yoursel, mon"
And Alexander Pope too!
"Eat more, root more, sink more piss
Is the Weir House dream of bliss"
The classical influence is evident....
"Arise, ye jerkers from your fumble...."

But perhaps Martin Doyle has had the most noticeable affect on the poet:

"They'll precisely place the touring All
Black team, but
Soweto is a town hut God knows where."

On the whole we can only conclude that Applecrumb's pattern of reference is confused and lacks a consistent, coherent thread. The verse is contrived and cliche-ridden. For example he gives Wellington a brilliant new epithet when he describes it as "windy" or the sheer artificiality of such lines as "And at your James Cook window pause to stare".

It is unfortunate that Applecrumble was given such extensive coverage in that widely read Salient (audited net circulation of 6,000 Heylen Research Centre). In conclusion it can only be concluded that we must conclude that the only conclusion to draw is a conclusion which states that Applecrumble gives us all the pip. Not long after last week's Salient Applecrumble fell of the tree and was eaten by a stray cow. Eaten is the apple that could have grown full rotten "copyright Coles Notes edition entitled: 'Applecrumble Gets his Just Desserts' ".

Well, Mr Editor please print this letter. It took frightfully long to draft and now that it is an enlisted letter it needs promotion because the boys all try to get it drunk in the barracks (Barrett's?).

The Knights of Weir House.

Heavily abridged because of lack of space-Ed

Cannibals on Campus

Dear Sir,

I am appalled at the allegation that Victoria University is a haven for cannibals. It is well known that the Wellington Polytechnic have the most casualties in this area; and that the university has its problem relatively under control. You the Salient reader and/or student will certainly have noticed the decline in numbers of human feet and especially human hands lying around the university Only a matter of months ago one had to wade through human bodies (whole and segmented) just to get onto the campus. Several times I have had to prise a dismembered hand off my ankle on reaching a lecture.

I would personally like to thank all those people who have assisted in keeping cannibalism off the campus,

I remain.

Captain B.J. Smithy,

(in a white wine sauce, with carrots and potatoes).

Apathy League Slates Hypocrites

Dear Sir,

As an erudite 1st year student, with a modicum of sex appeal, I abhore the implication made by the "Impatient B.A. Hon Lasher", in last week's Salient. This archaic example of neanderthal man, is surely a contestant for the "Whining Hypocritical Toady Of the Year Award". This person alleged that first year students are time wasters, and he does not want us here. Speaking personally, I don't want you here either, so why don't you piss off and leave writing silly letters to Salient to those with a little more grey matter.

Yours etc,

Vice President, Assistant-Sec Tres., Thorndon Apathy League.

p.s. I am, ask Cyril!

p.p s. I think John Ryall is very cute.

Come up and see me sometime-Ed

Life is One Long Dream Man!

Dear Sir,

I would like to write a nice letter in contrast to the many moans and bitches I have been reading in your column lately. I will try and give credit where I feel it is due.

I think Salient does a fairly good job although it is sometimes slightly biased or overweight with one particular issue (eg Hart).

The catering people do a great job. I love the food as I do the liquid selection. The people who serve always seem to be friendly.

In my opinion 99% of the people I have met at varsity are very friendly - the remaining 1% I have not had time to form a judgement on.

I do 42 credits and I am not overworked. I cannot complain about the set-up of any of my subjects or about any of my lecturers or tutors.

The people that complain about this varsity should either leave or reserve their opinions for the more moronic among us.

1 Last, but not least I would like to compliment Dominion Breweries on their brew, and "Tip Top" on their ice cream sundaes.

The Sun still shines on.



C. Laneous.

p.s. While I wrote this letter I was neither stoned nor drunk.

p.p.s. I would like to hear from other people who are happy with life via this column.

Pornography or Pus?

Dear Johnny-boy,

Image of a fly

Gidday, how the fucking hell are you? On the point of some of the so-called [unclear: pornographic0intellectual]-socialist puke that is sprawled across the sheets of such an illustrous magazine, why the fuck don't you leave out all the other shit (i.e. editorials) and allow more depraved, degenerate, frustrated, insane, bastards to gel themselves in print (i.e. publish more letters to the editor). Please try and censor the letters better, we don't want any of the decent, bigotted, conservative pus that is presently clogging space, which would be better used for pornographic contributions or etchings.

Bill Bush


Hunter's Loose Tooth

Dear Sir,

I wish to protest in the strongest possible terms about the decrepid state of the roof at the Hunter Building, or more specifically, the lack of teeth in the upper region of the aforesaid roof.

I think it is a sad day when a building degenerates into a dilapidated state, and it should be pointed out that the aesthetic appearance of the once noble institution has suffered consequently.

It should be remedied at once.

Hubert H. Wanker.


p.s. Anyone wishing to join the 'Save the Hunters Roof's Tooth' write P.O. Box 6972, Te Aro.

Re: Mad Rapists!

Dear Sir,

For some time I have been energetically involved in promoting apathy throughout this institution. The Thorndon Apathy League have endeavoured to fill the pages of Salient with literary gems, however, we that is, me and my vice pres. have seen the light.

Recently the brilliant illunination of intelligent activity has shone forcefully upon our own perfect example of the New Zealand education system.

We (i.e, the executives of the Tal) were participating in a game of "Beer Can Rugby" when much of our amazement several people stopped to watch and one personable individual joined in the game.

We now believe that to persue the cause of apathy is mundane in comparison to the great spiritual awakening we now experience.

Yours Religiously Unkind,

C. Bumtrinket


Neville H. Toad

Former Executives of the Tal.

p.s. As you failed to print our last two letters you had better print this one or else mate!

Agatha Misrepresented


I found it extremely odious and revolting, as a liberated woman, that a person of such obvious literary talent as The Mug of Arloo should use the pages of your paper to spread such reactionary propaganda as that expresses in his letter in Salient (Vol 39 Issue 18).

His past epistles have indicated the presences of an intellect of great genius, unclouded by such petty interests as those concerning morality and the sacred qualities of life.

It is possible that we have been deprived (by editorial censorship) of following the development of his talents. Maybe I just didn't realise that until recently you've deliberately only printed the best of him contributions. If so, I apologise for thinking you're a fuck-wit, but I still wish to express concern that the Mug of Arloo could resort to the tactics of a common or garden pressure group, forsaking his unique wit to repeat cliches.

As my good friend Richard C said, a woman's place is in the sink and our Mug's letter tends to promote this sort of Bullshit. Besides, I have been misrepresented. Agatha.

Israeli Supporters On International Club

Dear Sir,

We do not condone Israel's treatment of its Palestinian Arab population, nor of its methods of gaining territory; but we deplore such narrow minded arguments as in the International Club's latest statement condemning the rescue of Jewish hostages from Palestinian Arab hijackers.

Damn it all, it must be remembered that the Jewish State of Israel has existed for a mere 30 years, after hundred of years' persecution of Jews, that their particular brand of nationalism is a natural reaction to this persecution, a determined effort to preserve their identity at all costs. In this light their action at Entebbe Airport, if not justifiable in terms of violence (were the Palestinians?) is at least understandable far more so than the implicit approval of Uganda (the worst example of a present day Fascist state) that the International Club's statement carries.

The statement also seems to us indicative of an ill-hidden deep-rooted anti-Semitism, one of the oldest forms of racism, which renders void any supposedly objective criticism of Israel.

We suggest that those members of the International Club examine their "non-racist" stance, if indeed opposition to racism is the aim of an International Club.

R. Salas.

I. Hines