The Silent Majority (a Rowling rocking column)

Look around you. If you're in the cafe, camping out in the ticket purchase queue or eating a horse-arse pie, thank your lucky star at least Salient, in a similar way to Air New Zealand gives you a good deal.

Here within these very pages is an example of a free press, hampered only by the scruples of our printer and several outdated defamation laws. Unlike Hugh's rehash of broadcasting, most newspapers are "free from political control".

As you eat your fish and chip (singular) which now cost you half a well-deserved bursary dollar, consider the week.

While the accountants on the Treasury benches cut democracy as well as minimal costs out of TV news. The Week, a new "independent" paper makes it out for a fourth time.

Co-edited by Keith Ovendon, not only it's financial viability is in doubt.

Truth (it's liberal opposition) treats the Week with scorn. Calling The Week a "left-wing publication" in its usual satirical fashion, neo-fascist Truth illuminates the newcomers "communist connections". Truth readers might be shocked to know the delicate shade of red that is the colour of its editors underwear.

While you figure out why an ambidextrous rag like Salient permits me to go on like this I'll make my getaway.

Templeton resurrected the old NZBC news effort, The Word, so that Nats everywhere would not have the overwhelming choice of missing out on Starsky and Hutch so they could see themselves on TV1 A satisfaction of vanities. Templeton, say many, did so against his own volition, the price of collective irresponsibility and being number 20 in a cabinet stacked with 19 other class-less myths.

Last week I went to see what it was all about. Leaping the 43 steps, I entered Parliament and was officially welcomed by the ex servicemen who serve as guides. After showing me all their medals and turning off their hearing aides I slipped undetected through their security conscious gazes. Awakening the usher, I was directed to a seat next to some people doing a child pyschology course. What little I could see was a bit on the Noes.

Bloody oath over there yes I had sighted the elusive Labour MP. The speaker, a man in a wig and sporting a refined accent, introduced him to the House, but I recognised him immediately, of course.

Bill stood, eyes twinkling. This was what made it worthwhile getting up in the morning, he smiled and began spouting figures, abuse and points of disorder. Labour is still defending its administration.

As Honourable and not so honourable gentlemen wandered around, a new MP not yet struck by the beauty of Hansard's female reporter talked about the weather.

Leaving hurriedly, I walked the busy streets of Wellington trying to think of analogies. Freedom is like Syphilis, not all of you know you have it. Others who know, don't tell. We have a qualified freedom in New Zealand. Just like broadcasting, the press may go. Already sport is dead due to an attack of professionalism

I'll leave you with the thought that if Labour and National didn't exist, Social C Credit would be the government and our bursaries might be funny money, cups of tea would fall from the sky and happiness would reign. Actually, the first law of economics is: There are no free lunches, not at the cafe anyway.

You should see Bellamy's prices.