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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 39, Number 14, 5 July 1976.

Get Closer : Seals & Crofts

Get Closer : Seals & Crofts

"Get Closer" is quite a nice album without much to offer in the way of imaginative music. After listening to it once I thought it was quite nice, after a second time I still thought it was nice, but also boring.

Now, I realise that Salient's reviews pages are always full of reviews of boring records, which go through records track by track telling you how nice, but also how boring each track is. I could do that too but I have decided to do something startlingly different in the field of record reviews. I'm not really sure what would be startling in this respect, so I think I'll sit back for a few minutes and think about what to write....

How can you think clearly if fifteen people (allowing for exaggeration) have just walked in talking loudly and going off to make cups of coffee? Quite simply, you can't so I am about to relate to you the conversation which follows:

"Oh, shit!"

"What's up?"

"Look!!"

She has just spilt a cup of coffe all over the front of her skirt and it is now dribbling down the side of her legs and collecting in a pool on the floor. The liquid gradually begins to disperse as it soaks into the carpet, leaving a brownish coloured stain.

"I'll get a rag" says one enterprising young man as he disappears into the kitchen while the sun slowly sinks below the hills, leaving its yellow, orange, red and purple tinges on the fluffy little cirro-cumulus clouds suspended above the horizon (See! I'll bet you never thought I knew a word like that, did you?).

Eventually he comes back into the room with the rag setting his mind to the task of mopping up the carpet. He soon turns his attention to the young woman who is still soaking wet. He gently places his hand on her knees and drifts up her skirt towards the milky-white flesh above the fish-net stockings she is wearing, and, when he has finally attained his goal, that place he had been longing for - he wipes up the coffee which is sitting there.

At this point the record finishes "Quite pleasant background music" I think to myself as I change the record to something a little more appealing. Get Closer is going to be a strong contender for the 2ZB Breakfast Show Stakes, so if you like that kind of thing, then by all means go and buy it - otherwise leave Seals and Crofts alone until they stop following their little commercial success formula, and produce something more imaginative.

- John Bowden

(I think you could have done something more imaginative than a poor imitation of Henry Miller. I think we would all have preferred to know about the boring tracks instead of boring chauvinism -Typesetter)

Photo of Seals and Crofts