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Salient. Victoria University Students' Newspaper. Volume Number 39, Issue 6. April 5 [1976]

That's Life cartoon continued

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page 18

That's Life cartoon continued

THAT'S LIFE Continued Tommy hits the road, where he stacks his load with longtime-mates Red 'n Willie, to make some gold and a blue record for a white man. Now read on: HOW MUCH YOU GOTTA PAY DESE PEOPLE TO MAKE DIS REKKID? MO, TOMMY, MAN... DA PEOPLE PAYS YOU! OL'MAN HARTLEY TELL US DE MAN GIVE US TWENNY-FI' DOLLIZ FO' EVVY TUNE DAT YOU MAKE ON A RECOURD... TWENNY FI' DOLLAM!! MAN, DAT'S PLENTY GOOD FO' ONE LI'L TUNE! YOU GO DOAMN RAHT DAS GOOD... AN'DEN IF YOU GET A HIT DEY GIT YOU BACK AN' MAKE A WHOLE SLEN O' MO' REKKUDS AN' YOU GITS BIGGER PAYMINTS... FITTY DOLLIZ A REKKOUD OR MEBBE EVEN A HUNNID!! DEN YOU GITS FAMOUS JUS' LAK OL' BLIND LEMON AN' PAPA CHARLIE JACKSON AN' ALL DE BLACK FOLKS IN DIS WHOLE WIDE WORL' KNOWS 'BOUT YOU!! NEX' THING YOU KNOW YOU'S RIDIN' 'ROUN' IN LIMMAZINES UNIT' YOU OWN SHO'FER... YOU WEAR IN' SILK SHOITS AN' PAT'N LEATHA SHOES! NO MO' WALKIN' BEHIND DAT PLOW STARIN' AT DAT MULE'S ASS! HEE HEE!! JES' THINK OF ALL DEM BROWNS AN' YALLAS BE AFTA YOU DEN... MAN... HOPE AN MAKES A HIT REKKUD! HEY WILLIE! YOU THINK DAT REKKID OUTFIT MIGHT COULD USE OL' TOMMY HERE? MEBBE SO... AH DUNINO... HE PLAY CAT MEAN, DIRTY LOW-DOWN TYPE O' MUSIC... BUT ME DO GIT HOT ON DE GITTAR... AW, DEY DON' WAN' NO OL' BACKWOODS COUNTRY NIGGUH ON NO REKKID... HAW HAW... TOMMY, HEY MAN, US AIN' NO LESS COUNTRY BOYS DAN YOU IS... DEY GONNA GIVE US DE CHANCT... YOU COME ON WIT US, JES' FO' DE RIDE... MEBBE DE PEOPLE LAK YOU TYPE O'PLAYIN', MEBEE DEY DON'T YOU COT NUTTIN' TO LOSE... DAS RIGHT! DAS' FO' SHO'... OKAY, AN COME 'LONG WIT Y'ALL... HEY, YOU BOYS GOT ANY OF DE GOOD STUFF IN DIS CAH SO MEWHERE! SHO' IN HELL DON'T! DE WIMMEN MAKE US SWEAR ON DE BIBLE US'LL LAY OFF DE LIKKUH 'TIL AFTA WE MAKES DEM REKKUDS... AMEN BRUTHA! HAW HAW HAW! DEY DON'T MISS A THING, BRUTHA!! HAR HAR HAR! LOOKIT... DERE'S A SAKN SAYIN, 'MEMPHIS, TWO-HUNNLD AN' TWERY MAHLS... MAN, WE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO!! AH'S GLAD YOU KIN READ DEM SAHNS, WILLIE... ELSE WE'UD NEVER FIND DAT REKKID MAN!! JACUON — IS AMNES HEMPINS 220 NOES WO DAYS LATER THE BOYS ANALLY ROLL INTO MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE.. MAN, DIS IS SOME BIG TOWN!! AH BEEN IN MEMPHIS MANY TIMES 'FO DIS... AH SOHW YOU 'ROUND ALL DE HOT SAOTS, TOMMY!! HOPE WE GITS DAT MONEY SOON! AH'S FLAT BUSTED BROKE AFTAH ALL DAT GASOLINE AN' STUFF WE HAD T'BUY!! NEXT DAY TOMMY GETS TO CUT FOUR TITLES AT A MAKE-SHIFT FIELD. RECORDING STUDIO IN A MEMPHIS HOTEL ROOM... TOMMY, WILLIE & RED HANG AROUND THE ROWDY BEALE STREET AREA OF MEMPHIS, SPENDING ALL THEIR RECORD MONEY ON NEW SUITS, SHOES, HATS, TIES... THE REST ON BOOZE AND WOMEN... BEING UNWISE TO THE WAYS OF THE BIG CITY, TOMMY UNWITTINELY GETS INVOLVED WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS A JEALOUS HUSBAND. ONE NIGHT IN A JOINT, THE HUSBAND SHOOTS TOMMY IN THE HEAD, KILLING HIM INSTANTLY. SIX MONTHS LATER, IN THE WINTER OF 1931 -32, IN AN OFFICE OF THE "NOBLE" RECORD COMPANY NEW YORK CITY... WHEN... HOW'D THE MEETING GO, ED? FROM THE HANG - DOG EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE, S'O SAY THINGS HAVE TAKEN A TURN FOR THE WORSE... YOU SAID IT FRANK... MY WORST FEARS... 412 MCENELLY AND SAUNDER'S WERE AT THE MEETING... THOSE TWO OLD BUZZARDS HAVE ALWYAS BEEN AGAINST DIE FIELD TRIPS FROM THE BEGINNING... WE FOUGHT THEM FOR EVERY PENNY SINCE OUR FIRST TRIP TO MISSON IN 1925... WELL PUSH HAS COME TO SHOVE, PODNER... THEY'RE GOING TO DISCONTINUE THE RACE AND COUNTRY SERIES ENTIRELY.... ALL FIELD RECORDING TRIPS ARE PERMANENTLY CANCELLED! HM... TO OBADD.. I SUPPOSE IT HAD TO END SOONER OR LATER... THE MARKET'S BEEN DRYING UP... THE HICKS ARE ALL STANDIN' IN LINE FOR A BOWL O'SOUP... WHO CAN AFFORD RECORDS?... ... AND TEHN THERE'S THE RADIO... YEAH TH'WHOLE INDUSTRY'S IN THE WORST SHAPE IT'S EVER BEEN... NOBLE MIGHT NOT EVEN LAST THE YEAR... AMERICAN RECORD CORPORATION IS PICKIN' UP ALL THE INDEPENDENT SMALL LABELS FOR A SONG... WE'RE PROBABLY NEXT... LET'S TAKE CARE OF THIS BUSINESS... THE BIG BOYS WANT US TO CUT OUT ALL BUT THE BIGGEST NAME ARTISTIS FROM THE CATALOGUE, AND DECIDE WHO MIGHT STILL HAVE ENOUGH COMMERCIAL VALUE FOR FUTURE RECORDING DATES... 'GRAND SO, PAL! ...AND I'M SURE THEY WANT TO SEE A VERY SHORT LIST OF NAMES. OKAY, LET'S LOOK AT THE SALES AGUIRES... CHARLIE HALL... 300 ON NOBLE 1761 230 ON 1780.... TSK... A PITY... I BOUGHT HE WAS NOT... NEXT IS LITTLE JOE JENKINS... 650 ON 1629... 500 ON NOBLE 1605... HE'S OUT... HMM... LOOKS LIKE BOY, SALES ARE REALLY DOWN FROM LAST YEAR... WELL, NOBODY'S DOING GREAT... THINK WE CAN SAVE TIME BY FIRST ELIMINATING THE TOTAL LOSERS. LET'S SEE. HMM. HUMM... OKAY... TOMMY GRADY... HE'S GOT ONE COUPLING ON 1599 SALES: SIXTEEN COPIES! SIXTEEN! IT'S HARD TO BELLIEVE... HA... WHEN... MY SCALP ITEMES... G'OAMMIT... THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID UPSTAIRS... THEY CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE CHANCES ON THESE UNKNOWNS FROM THE WOODS ANYMORE... FROM NOW ON THE POLICY IS "TRIED AND TRUE" ONLY... TIMES ARE TOUGH... ALOT OR GOOD TALENT IS GONNA GO DOWN THE DRAIN OUT THERE! YEAH... HA HA HA... SUMMER, 1975... AN OBSCURE RECORD COLLECTOR IS CANVASSING SMALL SOUTHERN TOWNS IN HOPES OF FINDING THE GOOD STUFF... GOEE THIS TRIP HAS BEEN A WASH OUT SO FAR... ALL THE OL' TIMERS ARE OHIN' OFF... HMM... THIS PLACE LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT YELD SOMETHING... WELL KEPT OLD HOUSE, LACE CURTAINS, FLOWER BEOS... 'MORNING MA'AM... UH...I'M LOOKING FOR OLD PHONOGRAPH RECORDS... I COLLECT THEM, YOU SEE, AND... UH... IF YOU HAVE ANY OF THE KIND I'M LOOKING FOR, I'LL PAY GOOD MONEY FOR THEM... To be continued

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