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Salient. Victoria University Students' Newspaper. Volume Number 39, Issue 5. March 29 [1976]

That's Life by R. Crumb

page 19

That's Life by R. Crumb

THAT'S LIFE A HOT SUMMER DAY IN THE "COLORED" SECTION OF CRYSTAL SPRINGS, MISSISSIPPI IN THE YEAR 1931... R. CRUMS — 1975 PO-O] BOY — LO-ONG A WAY F'UM HO-OME... PO' BOY, LONG WAY F'UM HOME... MMM HMMM WHEN... AH LIKES TA NEAR YOU SINGHIN', TOMMY... SHO'S IS PRETTY! AM WISH YE WOULD JOIN DE CHURCH AH' SING LONG LIVE ME ON SUNDAY! US DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE ON DAT BUNCH OF GOSSIPINT MYPOCRITES, ESTHER!! YEAH, AH' ANUTKA THING US DON' SEE EYE TO EYE 'BOUT IS DIS WORK WHATS GOTTA GIT DONE 'ROUND HERE... YOU S'POSE T'BE MINOIN' THEM BABIES AN' WHERE IS DEY, WHILE YOU SITTIN' HERE PICKIN' DAT GITTAR, AH'... ...WHAT'S DIS!? MAH SPESHAL SECRET MEDICINE!! SHHEEIT... AN WARNT YOU 'BOUT GITTIN' INTA MAH SPIRITS, MISTAH!! AN'S GITTIN' TIRED D'YOU DRIVIN' ME, BITCH... AH KIN BEAT YOU PLENTY! HA! AH KIN WALLOP YER SKINNY U'L DL' BLACK ASS ANY DAY OB D'WEEK, HONEY CHILE... GRRR... WE SEE 'BOUT DAT, SWEET.!! AH'M A PEEZABLE WOMIN BUT NOW YO' IS GOT ME RILED... AH'LL RIP DE FLESH OFF YOU BONES, NIGGUH!! GUH! MMUPGHHRR. DOWLL... UGH GHASP GAG YOU FULK WID ME AH'LL MAKE YOU EAT ALL DE DIRT IN DE YARD, BITCH! AARNGH CRUNCH HEE HEE! AH'LL DO A HOP - SCOP ON YO' HAID 'FO' A LETS YOU SIT UP! SPLUT SPUTTER PTOO!! ALL DIS FUSSIN' AN' FIGHTIN' IS WEARYIN' ON ME... IT AIN' NO GOOD, ESTHER... ALLUS DISAGREEMENTS 'BOUT EVWA GODDAMN LI'L THING... DAT AIN' NO WAY TO LIVE! WHATCHOD DOIN', TOMMY? AM'S PACKIN' MAH SUITCASE DAT'S WHUT AH'M DOIN! IF EVVA A MAN NEEDED KILLIN', YOU DOES, TOMMY GRADY... YOU KAD BEST BE DUTA RANGE FO' I GETS DIS PISTOL LOADED!! WUH OH! WHO SONNA HE'P ME BRING UP DESE CHILLUNS?!? BAM BLAM BAM AH'LL HEAD UP TO TERRY... MERSE THAT BROWN GAL LEONA TAKE ME IN... SHE LIKE MAH PLAYIN', AM REMEMBER... MEBBE AH'LL BO ALL DE WAY TO JACASON... GOT PLENTY O'FRIENDS UP DERE... AM KIN GIT MORE MUSIC GOIN' UP DEGRE TOO... ATER THAT AFTERNOON CAINT GO DOWN DAT DIRT ROAD BY MAHSEEX... MMMM ALL BY MANSEFF... CHUG CHUG CHUG MM HUM HMM CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG HEY TOMMY MAAL... WHATCHOD DOIN' OUT WERE SEMN' BY DE ROAD LAK DAT? 'LD WILLIE... 'LD RED... CHUG CHUG CHUG AH, M ON MUH WAY UP TO TERRY... WULL GIT IN ...WE TAKE YOU FAR AS DIS DL' HUNK O' TIN'LL GO... HAW HAW! HAW HAW MUCH OBLIGE, WILLIE... CHUG CHUG CHUG HE'P Y'SE'F TO SOME O' DAT FRIED FISH BACK DERE... HOPE DIS FLIVVER MAKE IT TO MEMPHIS... RED 'N' ME GOT A IMPORT'N JOB UP HERE! WE GONE BE ON A REKKID, TOMMY... YOU KNOW DL' MAN HARTLEY AT DE MUSIC STO' IN JACKSON? HE GITTIN' US DIS JOB PLAYIN' BLUES FO' ONE O' DESE BIG-TIME REKKIED OUTHTS!! YEP! MUNCH CHOMP TO BE CONTINUED