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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 39, No. 1, March 1, 1976

Salient Notes

Salient Notes


All right now listen to me here mate these are the fucking (note trendy use of obscentity) Salient notes. Again. Yet again. And the same bloody person is doing them and I am not going to tell you who I am. I am the phantom of the () (insert own cliche). Believe it or not we have some new people in this place but basically the same old boring boys are back. Henderson (lie's now Publications Officer - how the fuck that maniac got there I'll never know). Ryall (now editor of this rag - same epithet applies). Beckford (our dearly unloved President - he is wheeled out in his geriatrics chair every time a student notices his existence and asks to see him). Klee (better not say anything about him. Puke marks do not come off typewriters easily). Peck (seems to have been lionelised somewhat but is still a nice girl at heart.) Derby (Sitting in the corner looking cool and trying desperately to look working class so he can be a real marxist instead of an intellectual wanker. He has failed - he's just stopped being intellectual). Dwyer (seems to have got all cultural in her old age and has got deep fenceshaped grooves in her arse). Newton (wish-washy as ever and now trendy to boot. Have you seen his haircut recently - better consult your handbook to find the nearest grot). Hales (After recently undergoing a vegetation session in the wops is now doing a fucking good job for Hart and only drops up occasionally to keep Henderson following the correct line). Carson (intimidatory as usual. Says that he can bowl as fast as Lillee and that he dropped a guy with a bouncer the other day. There were no witnesses to verify that fact and I can hook him for six any day and will do so when the cricket match comes around). Peter Pranks (is still recovering from a shock he received the other day when he found that for the first time in living memory he had had an article rejected). Swann (recently lost at the election of SRC coordinator to Tony Ward - polled no votes at all - no crap. Doing a good job though - at least he has principles). Ward (seems to be in the hot spot at the moment because of his disgusting scabbing in the Goodall affair. As competent as ever but his ethics must now be in considerable doubt). Newer people: Patrick Mulrennan, Rachel Scott, James Robb, David Murray, Lindy Cassidy (Fuck but she can write!), Leonie Morris (this girl has a great future in student politics - watch her rise). Judith Ting (token artie - one of the few arties I know who still remain interesting), Leigh Thomson (is now chief campus reporter so don't be surprised if he comes wandering up to you asking for your opinion on the state of the middle floor conveniences. Has glasses and looks vaguely Christian). Martin Doyle (recently turned 20 and went over the hill). Rod Prosser (has now come out of his closet and admitted the fact that he is a trot. Is now officially suspicious). Quentin Roper (cartooning as always and getting better). Harold Merriman (John Ryall says he lost your copy. I believe him but only just). Dave Stott (got ripped off). Tom Dwyer (Anne's big brother - no more need be said), Warwyck Dewe (the fact that he is advertising manager has nothing to do with the fact that he is an accountant. Despite what python says he is not boring. Merely soporific). And last and probably best is Pat Bartle, our new typesetter, who has been working with us for two days and has already put us all to shame. "Good politics too", to quote Bernard Randall.

Well that appears to be all. And the only way to find out who wrote these notes (if you can't guess and it is pretty bloody obvious) is to rip along to the Salient office and sign up. Then we'll tell you. Because if you're not interested enough to find out you're nutty enough to join us, so, go to it. This is your newspaper. Your $30.50 (Knew that would grab you) And don't forget to come to src on wed. 3rd at 12 in the Union Hall'

Salient is published by the Victoria University Students' Association and printed by Wanganui Newspapers Ltd, Drews Avenue, Wanganui.

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