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Salient. Victoria University Students Newspaper. Vol. 38, No. 15. July 2, 1975

A Letter From P. O. Box 3396

A Letter From P. O. Box 3396

Dear Editor,

Drawing of a horse and carriage

I am writing on behalf of the Shite Sports Coat and Pink Carnation Society. We are not to be confused with the White Sports Coat and Pink Carnation Society as is your correspondent Mr. W' (not to be confused with Mr. W), who foolishly quoted a WSCPLS statement as an example of the racist sentiments held by our own decent and respectable society.

I can assure you and your readers that we of the SSCPCS would never stoop to the low levels of the Wscpcs. The Wscpcs is an evil and sinister group whose very existence, I consider, is a sign of moral decay in NZ. All the values and institutions held dear by the average New Zealander—sobriety, culture, post-impressionist painting, dog trials, free thinking, spiffy dressing, etc.—are being denigrated and destroyed by this grotesque clique.

When I say these friends are the agents of the holocaust and bringers of cataclysmic floods, I do not jest.

I warn all of you at university, particularly middle class radicals born in Karori, that the Wscpcs aims to take over the university itself and transform it into a huge industrial complex designed to mass-produce twelve foot high multicoloured plaster gnomes whoch are programmed to sing in a falsetto voice Wscpcs party songs such as The Yellow Rose of Texas', 'Some Enchanted Evening', 'In The Chapel in the Moonlight', 'I Wonder Whose Kissing Her Now', and inevitably, that ridiculous Marty Robbins song from which their name is derived.

The finance for this extraordinary transition will be provided, I am told, by ITT, Efrem, Zimbalist Jr., Achtung (Allied Cleaning House, Technical Units, Northern Germany), The House Un-American Activities Commission, The Mint 400 Drug Conference and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

To combat this manace, I suggest all interested parties should unite behind the Sscpcs.

If you like going to Folk Festivals so that you can sing 'Taumaranui On the Main Trunk Line' in a nasal voice; if you think reading Karl Marx in German is 'good fun'; if you find revolutionary films about Puerto Rico 'absorbing'; if you think there might just be something in this Johnathan Livingstone Seagull thing; if you think NZ has a lot to learn form Chinese Society; if you say to your friends 'dope can be good fun, but, you know, I don't want big tits'; if you think Rod McKuen has made a significant contribution to contemporary poetry; if you have lots of Maori friends on the East Coast; if you think you perhaps should wear underarm deodorants but you don't because its reactionary; if you would like to go Oil a 'freedom bus ride' so that you could meet the 'real' people who live in places like Trkapo or Huntly—then we would like to hear from you via the columns of this paper.

Yours sincerely,

Rettu Pare.