God that amendment is driving me up the wall. How the hell that guy can call himself a Labour M.P. Aha! I know. 'Don't you dare say anything nasty about me you rotten Swine' quoth Bryony Hales, her jowls quivering (Don't Quote me!) in rage and agony, her pig-like eyes leering at me. Oh well, Henderson is raving horribly and insists that I have to carry on writing the note myself so here goes. Mr Robertson is carrying out a delicate editting operation on his index finger with the help of one of the dirtier specimens of Salient scalpels. John Ryall is reading a copy of 'How to make friends and influence Chinese' while Marty Pilott who is trying to interpret Henderson's ravings or something to that effect is not doing the typesetting. Naughty boy. He should be jailed for two years. Languishing in jail as a result of having slipped the word to young JH are the advertsiing managers Christine Haggart and Stephen Prendergast. Ross Abernathy is temporarily absent and David Newton was but seen wandering through the Studass office. Unfortunately that was three days ago so hopes for his survival are not high. Lenin is sitting on the wall looking meaningful while Anthony Ward is recovering from an attack of delerium tremen contacted from doing something naughty with a duck, contrary to Section 143 para 11. Colin Phezlier is at present in hospital after being run over by a steamroller - he's in wards 23, 24, 25, 26 & 27. Quentin draws are as ropy as ever. Lionel and Lynn Peck, as in chook, and Pete Conway are up to something or other which Bruce won't let me print. Salient is published by VUWSA and printed by Wanganui Printers Ltd, Drews Avenue, Wanganui. And Let me Tell you Masturbation is Perfectly Normal and Healthy so there ....