Salient. Victoria University Students Newspaper. Volume 38 Number 8. 1975
The first of what I suspect will be many SGM's this year has come and thankfully gone. It was originally ordered for the purpose of recommitting the AGM motion on the exemption of Student Association fees, but by the time it had got before the meeting the agenda had accumulated another four motions, including one of Gyles Beckford's notorious constitutional amendments. The SGM started in the same way as every other student meeting since the year 1649 B.C. has started; apologies were called for and accepted by the unbelievable majority of one (3 to 2). This is not in the least bit unusual — students, for some unknown reason, don't seem to take enough interest in the very important subject of apologies. Somebody should move that apologies be accepted only if they have been offered on the bended knee. Should liven things up a bit.
And now, admirers (and others, Marx bless your illinformed souls), I will start my report. The first motion was held in the middle floor toilets in conditions of complete secrecy. Informed sources tell me it was brown and runny. Aaargh!! Write That Fucking Report Henderson!!! Much better.
And now, admirers
The situation with Studass fees exemptions at present is that the Vice-Chancellor can decide whether or not a person is hard enough up (stop those phallic puns ...) to get his $30.50 back. In practice he gives this power to Dr. Culliford who, I understand, is getting heartily sick of the job. This situation is, in the words of John Roseveare, 'quite farcial'. This association levies the fees, this association spends the fees, this association misappropriates the fees — this association should at least have the power to exempt them. From what I understand from Lisa Sacksen, the University Council would be quite happy to give this power to the Executive. The motion was eventually passed, amidst a lot of farting about and a fair bit of flying shit, with the only bloc voting against it being the labourites. I am sure the allegory I have played on right through this article so far can truly be applied to these people.
The nixt item on the agenda was concerned with Kevin Wrong and his ageless drinking horn. He had the bloody nerve to ask an already overburdened Students Association for another $100 for the drinking horn. Eventually the money was given to the general Capping Fund.
Which brought the meeting to the Knock-Na-Gree Overseas Students Conference in Auckland and the financing of the up-to-three delegates being sent there by VUWSA. An SRC had earlier ruled that $50 would be allocated by the association but some people had thought this sum inadequate and had asked the SGM for $100. They didn't get it. This was basically because a) The delegates would be going there for their own benefit in any case and b) The association has been giving away too much money lately. The motion, therefore, was lost.
Then came another money motion, this time a much more important one, with the SGM being asked for $250 for the Vietnam Medical Aid Appeal. A number of right thinking citizens opposed the motion on what could only be construed as being grounds of pure self-interest, The major opponent, a person renowned for his interest and ignorance in financial matters, said that the SGM had already given enough money away. (This person, incidentally, was one the major exponents of the extra money for capping motion). Mike Curtis, Association Treasurer, said that a straight donation would do nothing to raise student consciousness, so a very sensible amendment was proposed in which the Association would subsidise dollar for dollar any money raised by a campus fund-raising effort. This would be up to a limit of $250.
The meeting then drowsily progressed to the aforementioned Constitutional Amendment. It basically concerned people who joined the Students Association after finishing their degrees and leaving University (or not finishing their degree and leaving University). There is provision at present for automatic eligibility for membership of the association for two years immediately following their departure from the ivory tower. Gyles wanted this changed, because he was worrying about his ISIC cards. His motion was lost.
Then came the most unbelievable series of motions I have ever seen. I think it would be best if I wrote them down like so:
That general do appear on the agenda
That 'general' be replaced by 'colonel'.
This would make the motion read:
That colonel do appear on the agenda
Amenoment to the Amendment:
That colonel be replaced by 'Colonel Feslier'
Amendment to the Amendment to the Amendment:
That 'Colonel' be spelt as in a nut i.e. Kernel
Amendment To The Amendment To The Amendment To The Amendment:
That 'Kernel' be replaced with 'the rational kernel of Feslier removed from his metaphysical Catholic shell'
That the speaker be no longer heard
Carried Another Procedural Motion:
That the chairman's ruling be disagreed with
The motion was eventually lost and the meeting ended on a rather higher note than it deserved. Ah well, such is student politics.
One thing John forgot to mention in his report was the reaction of John Mowbry, who was speaking to the drinking horn debate, when John rudely and maliciously interrupted him. His reply (may it be recorded for posterity) was: - Get some shoes, you scruffy bugger'
One thing Tony forgot to mention in his defamatory (albeit true) attack on my reporting is that he is not the editor and therefore the aforementioned attack does not officially exist. Please do not read it.