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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Vol. 37, No. 17. July 17, 1974
What is a student?
What is a student?
Sir,
I must point out to you that your publication is not doing its part in furthering the cause of the most neglected minority group in this university. Recently, many minority groups have stood up and proclaimed that they are not ashamed of their beliefs (one thinks of the Society for the Legalisation of Cannabalism and small religious groups such as The Rosicrucian Underwater Marching Guild).
But one group has up till now remained silent: they are known as students. They come to university with the intention of learning and seeking intellectual stimulation. The term "student" is often applied to the whole mass of people enrolled at university : this usage of course is entirely incorrect.
| (i) | those suffering from the "meal ticket" syndrome; |
| (ii) | those Buffering from the "I'm-here-because-I-can't-think-of-any thing-better-to-do" complaint (these can be recognised by the conversations they have about 'stirs' and 'trail bikes'); |
| (iii) | people known as "lecturers"—these are of higher status than the previous groups. They can be identified by their academic gowns or their white coats (both of which are marks of status, equivalent to such insignia of rank as the penis-sheaths of the Small Nambas). |
A recent study shows that the numbers of true students (who belong to none of the above groups) can be counted on the fingers of both hands (if one is suffering from advanced leprosy).
Even though it is socially-acceptable to be 'pissed-off' with university, students are actually interested in the subjects they are studying. We also believe that interest is not a disease, but is as natural a condition as being bored or uninterested.
Mareko Maruru