These Foolish Things: Bryan Ferry (Island).

Reviewed by Richard Best.

The immediate problem with this album is in its five shortest tracks and the stuff behind that. Truly, I have nothing against pop music '58/.62 where the totality of anyone tune added up to little more than a momentary hum, but I abhor having to note here that the release of "These Foolish Things" very nearly brings with it the rebirth of the 59-second buzz.

Bryan Ferry's best calculations have always been in his capacity for stretching what would normally sound better cut: a dozen piano trills where lesser stars would falter at playing the trill twice: a monosyllabic word spun gnashingly into polysyllabic nonsense — the fine line between tastefully affected eccentricity and ludicrousness.

Mostly, "These Foolish Things" is not like that. There are 13 tracks and five are squandered on self-indulgent nostalgia like "River of Salt" and "Baby, I Don't Care", both 1'46" in length and not famous for their succinctness. Further, Ferry successfully manipulates the climatic, chorus in "Piece of My Heart" into an unexpected low and leaves the Beatles' "You Won't See Me" as inoffensive as it was in 1962.

Business is only just taken care of and even then, I feel beat whenever Anne Murray's lovely rendition of "You Won't See Me" comes on the radio. Does it really matter that Smokey Robinson's "Tracks of My Tears" and "Sympathy For the Devil" almost salvage this album when Anne whips through last decade's sludge and pulls up a maypole delight?

"These Foolish Things" is one bad LP and you can take off ten points for thinking that Ferry first gay-ified "It's My Party" and another five for not caring that ex-public school-boy and 10cc guide, Jonathan King, resuscitated and put the pansy in that same tune two years ago.

Thoroughly D-minus and completely lacklustre to boot.