If any of you sporting girls are off to build bridges to South Africa you had better learn about one custom that is not widely reported in our newspapers. You see, the South Africans are worried about this minority business. There are too many blacks and too few whites. The answer? First separate the black men from the black women by forcing the black men to live in single sex slums around the cities, second, keep contraceptives away from Europeans.

Now you may think the first step is okay, but if you're off to South Africa to play hockey, or perform in athletics, you had best take an extra month or two's supply of your favourite contraceptive. One sportswoman found out about the state of affairs in South Africa, benefiting New Zealand's population by one little boy eight months or so after returning from South Africa, which I imagine rather upset her training, what! So, girls remember, when going to the jolly racist land of South Africa pack your bills!