Lousy Comedy at Town Hall

The arrogant R.W. Steele is one lousy comedy writer. His inept piece, "Festival Warm-Up Too Hot", had only two laughs in what must amount to about 15 or 20 column inches. The first laugh came when he described police tactics at the melee outside the Town Hall on the opening night of the festival, and the second and bigger when he drew his conclusion. My God, I'm still chortling over that one.

Mr Steele's comedy writing, however, is largely lacking in quality. His observations of events at this particular incident are sufficiently one-eyed and exaggerated enough to provide the basic ingredients for humour. But, Mr Steele's writing style and his choice of subject tends to downgrade the few qualities of homour writing he has.

Mr Steele could have got a few more laughs out of his readers if he had bothered to describe Mongrel tactics during the fracas. The breaking of hollies against the side of the Town Hall and then the magnificent lobbing of these high into the night sky was a sight well worth a giggle. And then, with his readers already in uncontrollable fits Mr Steele could have pulled a gag which every humourist dreams of pulling and described the incredibly funny sight as the bottles landed in the crowd.

Another incident which could have gained an extra chuckle or two and which would have made a good 30 minute T.V. situation comedy was the occasion that same night when some of the ever popular mongrels decided they would attempt to change the colour of the water in the small fountain nearby. They succeeded in doing this by urinating fiercely into the pool. Now I ask you was that funny or was it not?

And I witnessed something that was nothing short of hilarious — one Mongrel attempted to screw a smashed bottle into another Mongrel's face.

Instead Mr Steele chose to concentrate only on the police and fell into the trap symptomatic of novice humourists — that of being exceptionally naieve in approach. His style thus appeared to be characteristic of that well known and much beloved programme "Dad's Army" — idiotic at best.

I did however, very much appreciate his little joke which compared our police to the Gestapo, "anywhere, anytime". This really appeals to my sense of humour. I would dearly like to see a television series portraying the Gestapo recovering lost pets for old ladies, bikes for debiked bikies and even settling the odd domestic dispute or two, and all in the characteristic Gestapo style. If Mr Steele would care to write such a script I would be only too happy to endorse it in the unlikely event of of being up to scratch.

And I would also like to see our dearly loved Mongrels starring in "The Sound of Music" in their own indomitable way. Wouldn't it be incredible?

Mr Steele tells what could have been a very good joke but then detracts from it by not giving us the full details. He tells us that everytime the police arrested someone and took them round to the portable cell block, the whole of Wakefield St. miraculously emptied of spectators, so that Constable B5?? could joyously swing his boot. Now that would have been a very funny joke had Mr Steele not been so concerned with Constable B5??'s future welfare and position in the force that he felt bound to not identifying the constable.

When a humourist confronts a problem of the type Mr Steele confronted he usually presents some kind of constructive comedy, but our Mr Steele had nothing at all to say in the way of a constructive comment. Good Heavens man! Evencrappy comedy writers usually have some sort of message of hope to give their readers. Have you a dribbling problem?

If I were editor of this rag that I am forced to pay for, I am bloody sure any arrogant, egotripping articles such as "Festival Warm-Up Too Hot" would be placed in an area reserved for adverts, and paid for.