Shithouse Paper

Why in hell's name can't this university provide respectable toilet paper? For the last three years I have been hopefully waiting for a change — the texture of it to occur, but to no avail. Consumer magazine once did a people-preference survey on packets of loo-paper, and the 2% or so who voted for the horrible brown greaseproof nonabsorbing paper we get at Vic liked it because it is strong. Strong it is, and also unyielding — if you scrumple it, it goes into sharp points which are kind neither to my piles nor my genitalia, and if you make a pad of it you get wet fingers owing to water running off the surface. If Massey can provide Babysoft, why can't Victoria?