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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Vol 35 no. 23. 21st September 1972

Smash and Grope

Smash and Grope

The Condom Vending Machine in the Men's Toilet at the eastern end of the S.U.B. has been interfered with three times recently.

On the first occasion some superman broke the perspex and extracted 50 condoms. Two days later a merchant stole another 36. The following day an entrepreneur tore the machine from the wall, scattering condoms all over the toilet floor, and made off with his prize. Unfortunately he discovered it was no use on its own, and he returned with it to find all the condoms that he had left on the floor were stolen. Forlornly he left the machine there.

The moral, and there must be one in this instance, is if you are that frustrated, masturbate, because its a helluva lot healthier than getting contraceptives via the commercial dirt and 'unhygenic' atmosphere of a shithouse vending machine. To 'cleanse' it would simply mean placing its obsolescence in the foyer where everyone could have equal access and where it's recommended siting was in the first place, before the medical 'experts' advising Union Management Committee began to pussy foot around.