Apathy Party

While the interested minority mobilizes its forces for the new elections, I thought that the Silent Majority would be best served by a party which truly represents its philosophy. What I am suggesting is an Apathy Party, which would reflect the wishes of the Silent Majority and which could be led by one of its worthy sons, namely myself.

My views and those of my Party are rather difficult to pin down, and any attempts at defining policy prove abortive. The problem lies in the very nature of the Party, in that, standing on a platform of apathy we have opinions on very few things and the only motions we pass are biological.

I suggest that, although my qualifications as leader are inclined to middling, I would be the pick of the political crop. In two-and-a half years at Vic. I have never been an active club member, and my views on "pressing social issues" could politely be called "wishy-washy". In a nutshell, my philosophy can be summed up as, "I'm all right, Jack."

However, a problem arises in that although the Apathy Party would represent the Majority, its members would not - they would immediately be identifiable individuals seeking political power. So, it's like Catch-22- the Silent Majority, by its nature, can't be organized and, least of all, given a voice. Realizing this, I will withdraw to the library and my next essay. I probably won't even vote.

Chris Harrington.