Queen Saved

It was announced today in London, England, that God has at last saved our Noble Queen.

The report followed closely on the staging of a large, peaceful demonstration at Clapham-on-the-Marshes District High School West Finchley. 900 pupils of the school gathered in a large assembly at around 9.00am on Wednesday morning. With almost no warning the crowd rose as a man and throaty roars erupted from their youthful throats. Cries of "God save our noble Queen" and "Long live our gracious Queen" were heard but the chants reflected an unusually passive atmosphere.

Speaking briefly, after the demonstration a spokesman for the group, Joseph Blinty, was heard to say "Meet you at playtime". No-one was arrested.

The Queen, who at the time of saving was talking to the Chancellor of Exchequer Mr Maudlin, said that she was happy and glorious and felt like raining for a long time. The Queen, Princess Anne (known as the "Gay Princess") and Prince Charles (known as the "Gay Prince" and to have associated with Queens of many lands) will give a press conference on T.V. tonight and are expected to publicly thank God and anyone else concerned in the royal saving.

Pupils of Clapham-on-the-Marshes D.H.S. will be presented with Princess Anne on Monday.

Meanwhile, in a hectic interview with Bonny Prince Philip, he said that he was pleased but hoped that God's saving of the Queen wouldn't interfere with normal functioning of the Castle.

It is understood the next person to be saved by God will be Alexander Gruntfutlick.