Poor John

T. Simpson

John Dawson, student. Five years from now he'll be earning four, maybe five thousand a year, be married and have his own house. Or so the story goes. Poor bastard. You'd think he deserved more out of life than that, wouldn't you. But the cream of the joke is that he can't even have that, it just simply isn't [unclear: e] Let's look at a few facts and figures and make a few assumptions.

We'll assume first of all that John's doing Arts or Science. Well let's face it, does he look like a lawyer or an accountant to you? Let's assume too that he's a second year student because he doesn't look worried enough to be in his first year and he doesn't look arrogant enough to be in his final year. That means he'll get his degree next year if he's lucky, or the year after perhaps. In 1974 or 75 he'll be looking for a job, an; if it's 1975 he'll only have three years left to get his wife, 5,000 a year and his house. We'll discount the possibility that he's going overseas, although he'd be well advised to, and assume he stays here.

Statistically John's most likely to become a government employee of some kind. 18% of graduates go into the public service, and over 50% become teachers. So let's look at the pay scales. If John became a public servant with a BA or BSc then the most he could hope to earn as a starting salary would be $3420 p.a. and his salary would more likely be $3079 p.a. At the end of three years, with normal promotion, he could expect to be earning $3661 which isn't really $4 - 5,000 no matter which way you look at it.

On the other hand John might decide to go on and do an MA which is becoming more and more a two year course these days. That means he stays at University for probably four of those five years from now, and he'll start on a salary of $3825, and by the end of the year, if he behaves himself, be on $4153 so he just makes it into the 4,000 a year bracket, Good work John.

Now let's go back and look at a house for him. If he stays in Wellington, and if he's a typical public service graduate that's where he'll be, then he'll have to pay about 14 to 16 thous for any sort of house at all. On a salary of $3079 a year he couldn't make that in three years if he gave up eating went naked and slept in the park. In fact he wouldn't even be earning anything if he even did one of those things, let alone all of them together. [unclear: He's] be dead, in a mental hospital, or in gaol in that order. But John goes along to the State Advances to borrow the money and when he gets there he finds that the laon maximum is $8,000 if he's got a freehold, unencumbered section, and God knows where he got that. So he still hasn't got his house because he couldn't save enough to make up the difference out of his salary or even to find the deposit of $1,600 they'll ask him for. He might try for a second mortgage of course, but at the interest rates they charge these days he couldn't afford the repayments. So no house, because loan limits are set by people who reckon that by the time you get to 4,000 a year you've been working for about ten years and you've stacked away enough to make up the difference between the loan limit and the actual cost of the house. John's spent most of the last ten years of his life being educated and the salary for doing that isn't enough to live on, let alone save.

Of course, there's always the bank. They might lend John the money. If I were a cynic I might suggest that if he went into the bank looking like he does on TV and asked for a loan they'd show him the door. You'll have to get a haircut and buy a respectable suit John, although you can keep the briefcase.

And finally a wife. Well they're easiest of all to acquire, and if she's a graduate too, and you add both salaries together and they're prepared to live in a scummy cold water flat in Newtown and half starve themselves and never go out and make do with clothes they've got and have no children, then five years from now they'll have 5,000 a year (or more) and a house.

And what this long catalogue of melancholy facts goes to show is that the reality is even more dreary than the mythology. Get out John while you've got the chance.