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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 33 No. 15 1970

Little Shop of Horrors

page break

Little Shop of Horrors

Sketch of 6 abstract faces

Stephan Chan has Craccum, professed anarchist Stuart London has Chaff, and Cruickshank and Rosenberg have Salient Right thinking members of the public are going to have a ball in '71.

The appointment of Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee by the Publications Board on October 5th was carried out in true Victoria style: applications for the editorship of Salient closed on Monday 21 of September. On time was one application—from former Salient Reviews Editor, Gil Peterson who took it all seriously enough to provide the Board with a comprehensive three page editorial policy. One from former Salient reporter Peter Butler was a little late and then a few days before the meeting of the Board an application was received from Roger Cruickshank and local PVM agent George Rosenberg chairman of the Board Graeme Collins moved that the late applications be accepted and they were.

Several of the democrats on the Board (among them Simon Arnold) decided that the meeting be held in closed committee (radical gadfly Logan explained that this was tradition "hallowed by custom" so that was O.K.). Everybody (including Graham Ingram, Salient technical editor in 1968 and 1970, who had been invited to the meeting "to give advice") trooped outside and remained there. Prior to this members of the Board had been given copies of the Peterson manifesto which they dutifully held in front of them while they talked.

After a few minutes Peterson wandered out amazed at the ignorance of the Board members. This was probably the first hint of Cruickshank and Rosenberg wandered in. While the multitudes waited someone recounted that former Association Secretary Denis Phelps had had his hand shanken by Sir Keith, who dispensing with protocol in the best Nixon manner, thrust out the talcummed paw and said simply (as is his want) "Keith Holyoake". "And Phelps got up and walked' said ex Cappicade Editor Roger Hall.

Cruickshank and his mate wandered out; "I was going to tell them that I had job with the Taranaki Herald over Christmas to get some experience," said Cruickshank, "but then I remembered that Graeme Collins could ring home and find out so I said the Wanganui Chronicle. It was the only paper I could think of." He wasn't admitting a lack of experience, indeed, he had put out several "underground" pamphlets.

A short time later Arnold came trotting out and gave Cruickshank and Rosenberg a jaunty thumbs up (remember, he wanted it in Committee). Five minutes later the Board purported to reach its decision and informed the world that the new editors of Salient were to be Cruickshank and Rosenberg, Ingram had a message passed to the (Chairman that he was only too pleased to have had the honour of advising the Board and that he didn't resent the time that had been taken up at all.

Bill Logan, when told the news, breathed distractedly "That's fantastic, amazing, we've won, we've won."

Graeme Collins, when told of Cruickshank's real job prospects, immediately undertook to get Cruickshank a job.

by Vivien Camp

8 eggs

1 tbslp baking soda

1 cup of water.

Beat together and smear over face and other exposed parts of the body.

Breath thru a handkerchief soaked in vinegar held in the mouth.