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Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Students' Newspaper. Volume 32, No. 19. August 6, 1969

Lust Supplement

Lust Supplement

For those desiring something to justify the headline, we present the following. Please remember that it is a supplement and not a denouement. It comes to you a public service in the name of justice and cleaner living, and is sponsored by the Society for the Re-introduction of the Rack.

Sparta (Alabama), Today.—"A shocking experience!" This was how a shapely young girl described her hideous ordeal of being tied nine hours in a chair, hung upside-down, and repeatedly bludgeoned by a blood-lusting sex-fiend wielding a severed human arm. D. Borch, a Turkish amputee and known sado-masochist, was arrested for his part in the morbid atrocity while still clad in a black-leather Edwardian corset. He was accompanied by a eunuch.

Investigating this sex-ridden, marathon, sin-rape, perverted, passion-orgy is Sergeant I. R. DePrayved. Sportingly attired in a short, green-pointed beard and bald-head, the sergeant accused the suspect of previously molesting a plucked, polythene-wrapped chicken in a suburban department store.

Meanwhile, armed police scour the countryside for clues in the shameful love-death riddle of 20 young decapitated lavatory attendants found naked and dissected on a lurid mound of stolen torture implements only yards from the door of a deviant, pop-star, white-lave brothel. Investigations are continuing.

It resembles a new planet, but it's actually a view through the proscenium arch of a life-drama machine—the thunderous liberated theatre. A large gelatinous mixture of semi-liquid actors will be deposited in the position indicated. Then the audience will be invited to participate and paint their feet. The sign "Ward 9a" is a guide for positioning the "personification of drama" gel. The only other plays produced should be calm islands. They should be succinct and to the point. For example :

The Ptomaine-Textured Driver: A play by Peter J. Needham.

Embalmer; William, we've run so fish over the probleml Frankly, I'd like a car. (A car and a dustbag fall onto the stage.)

Car: Uncle?

Embalmer: and some sauce, please.

Sauce (singing); When I questioned his validity, The writer laughed of Jesus.

Embalmer: Abortion Burner! (Curtain).