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Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Student's Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 10 May 28 1968

Where Is God?

Where Is God?

Sir—... and so consequently, as I have, through my brilliantly analytical thetical observations, concerning those matters which, as my erstwhile acquaintance, the selfsame and selfcalled obt. and humble James (need I mention) Mitchell, regarded with, I may add without, I hope, falling into the absurdly pretentious snare of loquaciousness, which, I may humbly be permitted to observe, the aforementioned critical moral advisor attempts too, too readily, regarded with (I repeat) excessive and, venture to suggest, brutal wrath and ire, from the position, may I presume to envisage, of one of her most powerful and honourable Majesty's revered and beknighted Druid high-priests who, mark the expression, strides along, nose-up-lifted, tie glistening, fiery cross brandished (and other pertinent phrasial expressions, descriptive of a bigoted reactionary fanatic (and here I must add that I am in no way drawing facetious comparisons to a former honourable member of our 'petite' (to use a French term) campus opposition, who has I have been informed, recently, and for no apparent reason, accountable or otherwise, transported himself to another breeding-land of political joy and palpable human indifference), upon those matters which, to repeat, for perhaps the benefit of those many worthwhile individuals, who, like I am, are too sorrowfully grieved at the scurrilous and vindictive attack upon my reputation, perpetrated by the twiceaforementioned base and grateles villain—concerning those matters which were, indeed, to be brief, censured so groundlessly by the triceaforementioned person, whose name will not venture to impart upon your ears, in last week's otherwise ineffable. but in this matter inexcusably treacherous Salient,... as I have, I repeat, in order briefly to return to the subject in hand, through my brilliant thetical observations, affirmed my most humble opinion, which I will summarise at length, that the perpetrator of such abdominations, and here I utilise his very word, if sane, is committing an act. yes I say, a sacriligious act of blasphemy, against all the higher, and more righteous ego of my person (incorporating the most advanced inculcations of spiritual and ethical justice)—so consequently (and once again I repeat), as the scriptures assert: "Wrath shall return wrath, and lightning shall return lightning, until heaven become hell once more, and our hearts be ruled by fire" (James 7 v. 20583 SV), or as the great mediaeval philosopher and theologian. Jeh. Amen, mentioned: "Mitchell Mightee mochte Bya Nightee."

Vowed to eternal vengeance Fr. J. S. Hales Esq., Grand Prophet and Acting God.