Unauthorised orientation controller

In a worthy attempt to orient students to the University the Orientation Controller had several handy telephone numbers printed on the back of the orientation programme.

He got the right number for Dial-a-prayer, but was two years out of date for some numbers.

With harps?

"I have a hilarious announcement to make", said a certain professor, as she prepared to read the Procedure in Case of Fire or Earthquake Notice which applied to a certain crowded lecture room at the very lop of a certain highly unsafe building.

The instructions? "Get under the table, clutch the person next to you, and when it's over, assemble in Kelburn Park."

Black death

A dead rat lay unburied on the main drive up to the Hunter Building for at least four days last week. Is bubonic plague on the way?

Round figures

Though Mr Levenbach has claimed rising food costs over the past 15 months as the main reason for his price rises. the Statistics Departments all-food index shows a jump of only 3% over the period (after taking into account the removal of government subsidies for which Mr Levenbach had already been compensated).

The caf. rises however come to more than 10 per cent over-all.

Now less weired

There was surprisingly little fuss when the Weir House Warden, Dr T. H. Beaglehole, this year decreed the abolition of that childish atrocity known as initiation. Never again will bewildered freshers be obliged to undergo all kinds of indignities and swear preposterous oaths of allegiance in order to become fully fledged "Weir-men".

Error

Quantitative Analysis in the Hunter Building, C3, are so short of space that "about twenty" arc sitting in the aisles It is said the Q. A. was to have been divided into two classes, but that this is not now being done.

The big and the small

Mr Boyd is well-fed, it seems.

When approached about complaints of small meals being served in the caf, he said he had suggested this to Mr Levenbach as one way of reducing his losses.

'The meals are no smaller', Mr Levenbach later told Salient.

Bread alone

Now the Snack Bar is in the Men's and Women's Common Rooms many lunchtime meetings will have to be held in the new lecture block or not at all.

'It was either intellectual fare or physical nourishment', said Mr Boyd of the Student Union Management.

Heavy light

Three law students did not ; attend a lecture on homicide in one of our brand new lecture theatres late last week. They thus missed being killed by a giant light fitting which fell where they should have been sitting. The contractor was not available for comment.

Papal intervention?

Monday night was frightful With the sounds of students arriving for the V.U.W. Catholic society's dance that was advertised in Orientation Programme. They found the dance wasn't in the beginning, isn't now, and never shall be.