page 4

Sludge

Withnefpeth above ye annual towne planne for ye fair city of Wellington. Notice ye customary high quality parchment and ye perennial inability to fpell fimple wordf.

"Af ye can ree ye main purpofe if to feparate ye pedeftrian from ye horfe and to paralyfe ye city in feventy fix different wayf." Fo fayeth ye Ferriff, ye traditional Fir Francif Kittf won hath now prefented hif ninety feventh plan to ye Elderf.

Of courfe there are fome miftakef in ye towne plan like ye running of ye underground mule track through ye middle of ye Houfe of Reprefentativef. Lyke ye directing of ye fixlane cartway into ye Fouth Pacific. Lyke ye difappearance of ye towne belt owing to shortage of ye green inke. Lyke ye dubbing of Karori af ye induftrial zone.

But these are of little importance when it if considered that by ye end of ye century ye population of ye Capital will equal that of Eaftbourne.

Ye plan itfelf confiftf of variouf linef and and fhadingf of gray which Fir Francif affuref uf are meaningleff. Thif year ye fhadingf were obtained from variouf learned youthf fingerprinted after an incident on ye top of ye parish lavatorie. Ye placement of ye blotchef haf been unfortunate thif year and ye Cathedral will be demolifhed to make way for ye new with it bawdy-houfe and adjoining ftrip club.

When gueftioned about ye new towne plan Fir Francif replied "It if a gimmick."