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Salient: Victoria University Students' Paper. Vol. 30, No. 4. 1967.

Sludge

page 5

Sludge

As He rose to speak a few droplets of rain spattered through the corrugated iron roof of the drainless, windowless Newtown hovel on to the head of Eruera Tauwharatara Ngaratoropoitaniwai-Jones. "Maori brothers, we have been subjected to grave injustice!" (pause for cheers from his twenty-eight barefoot children). "The time has come for action to raise the Maori from 'his miserable state!' Brushing a swarm of flies out of his face he continued. "And I just want to say this, any party that'll change it back to Para-para-oo-moo will certainly get my vote!!!" More cheers, roof collapses.

Transcript from NZBC Interview with Herbie Philpott of "Herbie Philpott and his mad fluglehorns."

NZBC: Now Herbie, would you say that your sound is a mixture of up-tempo rhythm and blues tempered with a lacing of Nicaraguan street songs given an overall flavouring of harmonic recklessness coupled with fundamentally uninhibited crowd effects?

Herbie: No.

NZBC: Do you personally feel, and do your group feel that your success lies in the feeling you put into your music?

Herbie: Who the hell's feeling who around here?

NZBC: You are reported in the New Zealand press as being a lover of mountains, water-sports, fishing, fresh air and scenic beauty. What made you come to New Zealand?

Herbie: The loot.

NZBC: What do you think about Vietnam?

Herbie: I think he blows a pretty fair Fluglehorn.

NZBC: Is it true that you first heard the fluglehorn at a Mexican cock fight?

Herbie: Bull.

NZBC: There's no need to be rude about it. Do you believe in 'soul' music?

Herbie: My name's Philpott, not Geering.

NZBC: Herbie. you've got quite a reputation for being somewhat temperamental and hard to get along with.

Herbie: That's not true. Just because I like to sign my autograph on the person's forehead with a rusty nail doesn't mean to say I'm temperamental, now does it, eh, Fishface?

NZBC: Anyway, to end the programme I'm sure you'll be delighted to play for us your latest release, "A taste of money."

Herbie: Lots of people were sure Truman was gonna lose in '48. Mind you, if you were to drop a few green ones into my Mexican boots I might consider . . .

Stop Press: American fighter planes today destroyed a friendly Vietnamese village five miles north of Saigon killing 164 civilians and 18 US Marines. The Pentagon has since apologised for the incident, attributing it to "a typing error."