Pettipoint returns exposed in oyst

Sir — Hooray! Congratulations, sir, upon at last driving from your elegantly news-endowed pages the scourge of the scurrilous Petitpoint.

Greater scurr hath no man than this, and [unclear: tis] heartening to see in the generation of today a sure sense of the fitness of tilings, a sense of the elegance, beauty and dignity so characteristic of the age of which we are all so much a part.

Cynics have no place at the shore of Propontis, but alas irrepressibly they burst splatteringly into print, messing everybody's best shirts.

At last, sir, we, the serious-minded and concerned youth of the day can feel safe from the ignorant jibes of the Greater Scunge, and from the imprecations hurled, indiscriminantly sundering upon our shells of wisdom.

It is time, sir, to be earnest, good, sincere, and wise.

The world expects it of us, you and me together both.

Let us therefore nevermore be woebegone, but set out firmly treading to make the world an honest, plain, nice world for our children, and our children's children, and assuming the reproduction goes well, their manifold progeny after them.

The world is our oyst.

John Pettigrew