Weir(d) cricket

The following article (from Salient in 1955) has a certain timeless humour which merits reprinting:

After a long trolley-bus journey and some optimistic promises to whoever forbade us to take a perm-killer, we arrived at the absolute terminus of the Karori Park line. Little more than an hour later Baron von Schroder and Capitalist Hume appeared followed by a straggling line of retainers and many bottles and cases of anti-tetanus.

South elected to field and Baron opened with the redoubtable Mr. Huddlestone against the slow bowler expressly requested by the former. Alter the first over Mr. Elmes, already pretty well inoculated, came out to umpire and to discipline a bowler who had steadfastly ignored the Baron's requests for slow leg breaks. Tins bowler finally bowled eleven balls before he got tired and went away. "Over" said Mr. Carver, who arrived at the bowler's end absolutely immune just in time for the third over.

Mr. Elmes went in for a drink.

Mr. Carver went in for a drink.

Messrs. Schroder and Rich came out to umpire. Rich gave the next batsman out because he had left his cigarettes on the boundary. The one who brought them in was promptly run out but Rich was lighting a cigarette and Schroder was looking for a drink.

Schroder went in for a drink.

There was a general tendency to forget we were playing tippeny runs and time and time again the umpires had to tell the batsmen to run next time.

Schroder returned, asked the bowler to slow down, turned his back on a perfectly taken catch, allowed his third consecutive seven-ball over, started to leave the field for a drink but seeing Rich on the sideline returned in disgust. The next batsman was caught by Rich as he returned to the wicket. An appeal for lbw was refused by Schroder under the dubious classification known as "bum ball".

Your correspondents left the field for a drink, beating Schroder in by a short head. Schroder returned to find that all the players were buying icecreams from a terrified urchin on the boundary.

North were all out 127 for 18 wickets with a tolerance of 10 per cent each way.

Schroder opened the bowling for North with slow ferocious long hops (bounce, bounce, bounce and scuttle) which invariably lured the frustrated batsmen out of their creases. The umpires had by now discovered that their mugs were safest just behind the middle stump. Mr. Wills was bowling in true underarm style, the bias being supplied by the umpires. On the strength of the next four Schroder ordered Mr. Sinclair out to the boundary 200 yards away, Mr. Anderson bowled as follows: wide, wide, no ball, wide, wide, single, Mr. Chamberlain, who had unaccountably found time to field and bat on both sides as well as to immunise himself, bowled a two-ball over and went back to long stop to sleep it off.

"You bumble-footed idiot!" screamed Schroder to Carver, as that unfortunate person tried in vain to point out that he'd thought he had to use his hands. Schroder's last ball was played on by the batsman. Mr. Powles (who had not gone off—he had a bottle with him) thought for a while and said "no ball" with some relish. Mr. Schroder went in for a drink and didn't come back. Mr. Hankins put himself on to bowl and Mr. Sinclair took 48 off the next six balls (six sixes, six wides and a lost ball). Finally with the score at 268 for 19 declared it looked as if the tradition of the inevitable draw had at last been broken but at the last moment Schroder, oozing waspish self-satisfaction from every pore, announced that Sinclair was playing for North anyway—or should have been.

Touche!

Vic 4th in tournament points

By John Winton

Hampered by anti-student traffic cops, and not a little confusion in the ranks of student organisers. The bed-race started the 22nd Winter Tournament at Auckland.

The Result did not bode well for Victoria's likely performance in the more serious competitions. A winning position was lost following a blow-out short of the finish (a caster fell off) and the team limped in a close second to last.

In spite of this early defeat the Victoria teams did not lose heart and although they struggled in many of the ensuing competitions the final result could have been worse: Victoria came fourth on the overall points.

Thus another Winter Tournament has passed. To those who won, congratulations, to those who lost, our heartfelt sympathy!

Soccer

The Football played was exciting to watch and apart from the game against Otago on Wednesday morning, when Victoria just couldn't move the ball quickly and accurately enough, the Victoria team played meritorious soccer and deserved a higher place than fourth position, with 22 goals for and nine against, Vic was on goal average next best to Otago (24 for and seven against).

Games: Victoria 10, Lincoln 1. In this game the defence was never tested. Lincoln attacks were broken in mid-field by the half-backs. Bob Howell, Dale Reddish, Chris Ryan and K. P. Too played outstandingly.

Victoria 6, Massey 0 (half-time 5-0). Again the defence was not overworked but played constructive football and sent the forwards away time after time. Reddish and Howell played outstandingly.

Victoria 3, Canterbury 3 (half-time score 3-0). Here Victoria had their first shock. Before the defence had time to settle down, Canterbury ripped through to score their three goals in the first few minutes of the game. Victoria rallied but their passing was slow and many possible advantages were lost. In the second half Victoria increased their pace and started scoring. K. P. Too a penalty. Bob Howell a beautiful shot past the keeper, and Mike McErlane who took the ball in a solo run right through the defence. Reddish, Howell and Too were again outstanding.

Victoria 1, Otago 3 (half-time 0-1). Victoria was too sluggish. Players held the ball too long, and against a hardened Otago team that day Victoria couldn't, do anything. Reddish played well but had to come on due to injuries.

Victoria 2, Auckland 2 (half-time 2-1). In this final game both teams played excellent football at full pressure. Vic were unlucky to have a goal scored against them in the last minute. It was not until the game was over that we discovered that Rod Bustard had been playing through the second half in great pain with a damaged knee. It was difficult to select outstanding players in the game because each player did his best. However, a few players seemed to shine more than the rest: Alan Mudford, Mike McErlane and Chira Hongladarom.

Bob Howell, Rod Bustard and K. P. Too were selected to play for the New Zealand Universities side against the Auckland under-23s. The Universities won 3-1 with Bob Howell scoring all three goals.