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and at the same time, a form of war (so is negotiation).

One should not be unduly surprised if the terms proposed by each side are initially unacceptable to the other because this is just a way of saying that they have incompatible goals—if they did not there would not be a conflict.

The thing to watch for is whether and how the terms change as time goes by. That tells you how the war, and the negotiation, are going.