page 3

Around The Campus

by El Crud

It seems I am away to a fine start, treading on people's toes in all directions. I made some derogatory comments about Tony Haas and they were subbed out before publication by none other than Haas himself. (Ed. We were mad too.) In future someone else will do the subbing. Greg Hope seemed a trifle upset that I ascribed radical rightist views to him. Possibly I was exaggerating a bit; comes from reading the new 56 page Truth. However, if I have hurt Mr Hope's feelings in any way I unreservedly apologise. That, I might add, is my first public apology.

There is a little farming town up north where a copy of Salient was distributed around the school, to the consternation of a certain ebullient gentleman who was featured frequently in this column last year. Another slip like that and I could qualify as guardian of a harem.

Many people have asked me what "nubile" means. I must confess that I don't know. It was a word I heard Alan Clark using during one of his sojourns in the cafe, and I never got around to finding out exactly what it meant. Perhaps it is the latest form of laxative.

Didn't manage to gel to the Weir House initiation, but I hear it was quite a show. The jokers chained up outside Vic A girls' hostel really had some fun. Talking of Vic A I have decided that this is to be a "Love Vic A Year." Last year a mysterious "El Virgo" from Vic A set about me in no uncertain manner, bombarding me with abusive letters for several weeks and generally dragging my name through the mire. This hurt me, so from now on only nice things will be written about them, things that will make them blush with maidenly pride.

Buy brewery shares this year. Some gentleman of my acquaintence went to a party on Wednesday night, carried on right through the following day and night, most of Friday and finally gave it up on Saturday morning. This is stamina. I saw them wandering along Lambton Quay wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day, but they didn't see me. I must admit though, that it was great to hear the old drinking songs again, to relive the poignancy of "Angeline." and to revel in the lusty bawdry of "Old King Cole." Perhaps a book of Vic drinking songs should be published. What a fright it would give the old gentlemen on the Indecent Publications Tribunal.

Erudite letters (signed) defending a noble art form would appear in the Listener, and "Mothers of Ten" would fill the "Dominion' from end to end pushing out the results of the sheepdog trials from the Waipawa A. and P. Show.

"Eskimo Nell" would become a set text for English III and students would at last be aware of the inner beauty and realism of that noble epic. Leftists, like McKinley and O'Brien would seize upon "Angeline" as proof of the need to do away with a ruling class.

The Dominion, in an editorial would say: "All right thinking people will be agreed that the present trend is deplorable and militates against man's better feelings. We believe that all the blame lies at the feet of accrediting. The dead wood must be culled from our universities." Perhaps it would be better not to publish after all.

A little tiger told me that Varsity is going to have a really good rugby side this year. We shall wait and see.

Bowled into the cafe yesterday, waited in line, tossed across 7d. for my coffee and was told politely that you couldn't buy just coffee. Many times change! I can remember when it was 6d. a cup and the doughnuts were a decent size and when I was on fat bursaries.

You know the way this place is growing it will soon occupy the whole of the city. In 1980 the 88 page stereophonic Truth will carry reports that students are knocking old age pensioners off the footpath as they hurry to lectures In the renovated Private Bar of the Mid. Coffee will be 8/6 a cup and parking will be reserved for professors.

Well; the New Zealand government awaits me so I must be off.