The Brains Speak

The Brains Trust was asked "How tight is a Duck's Bottom?"

Professor Joad said it would depend upon exactly what the question meant by tight, and also upon the type of duck. There were several interpretations of what could be applied to tightness, and of course there must be some standard against which the degree of tightness could be measured. It seemed a case for Huxley.

Professor Huxley agreed with Joad and was of the opinion that the question should be referred to the questioner for details. It was for example within his (Huxley'si) knowledge that there were 122 different kinds of ducks in Hyde Park and Regent's Park Zoo. Tightness in the context of the question was obviously a relative quantity, and an answer could not be given with any biological certainty without fuller information as to what precisely the questioner would like to know.

Commander Campbell said he agreed with Joad and Huxley, but he felt that the following incident might be of help to the questioner —when he (Campbell) was travelling up the Ping Pine River in 1923, ne had asked the captain of a river boat the same question. "How tight is a Duck's Bottom?" The Captain said he had never given the matter serious thought but it seemed that however tight it might be, it must be water tight otherwise the bloody duck would sink.